7 Father's Day Tips to Regain or Maintain Hero Status

 
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. - May 17, 2016 - PRLog -- When my son was nine, we were watching a baseball game together on television. As the camera panned over the cheering fans, he asked me why the kids in the stands were so excited. I said that the players are heroes to those kids. I suggested that someday one of those players might be his hero. He paused and said, "They may be my hero someday, but you will always be my first hero." The message was clear -- we are our children's first heroes, whether we want that responsibility or not.

A hero is seen as a protector, one who safeguards you from danger. Above all, we as fathers have to ensure that we maintain our hero status with our children by ensuring that we have earned their trust, and if it has been hindered or damaged, it is our responsibility to regain it.

Here are 7 tips to follow for dads that are absolutely crucial in maintaining or regaining hero status with their kids.

1) Celebrate victories. Celebrate achievements and victories by taking your kids for a treat. Before immediately running to the next dilemma, take time to enjoy accomplishments as a family. This will validate your child's self-esteem and importance to you.

2)  Confer regularly with your Inner Child. When our children struggle, stop and think about what you wanted to hear from your father at that age. Let that compassion shape what you say and how you say it.

3) Be curious. Show interest in your children's lives by simply asking how they're doing and what's new with them. By being curious, we communicate that they are important and we're thinking of them.

4) Monitor your Inner Critic. If we grew up with an Inner Critic telling us all the things we were doing wrong in life, chances are high we will pass this Inner Critic to our children. We need to take responsibility, as I did in my book, The Problem Was Me. We need to silence our own Inner Critic and become mindful of behaviors that could pass this intrusive voice down to our children.

5) Choose your battles. We must relinquish our need to always be right in our conversations with our children and instead choose closeness. Instead of telling them what they're doing wrong, we can choose to be close by identifying with our children's struggles and allowing them to express their feelings.

6) Permit mistakes. Let your kids know that mistakes are part of being human. Affirm that they can fail at times without becoming a failure. If we deny our children compassion when they stumble, we negate their humanness. If they lose compassion for themselves, they will lose compassion for others as well.

7) Provide a safe environment. Be the person they can come to with anything, even if it's something you don't want to hear. Allow them to vent, cry on your shoulder, or confide their mistakes in you. Heroes let their children explore who they want to be, instead of imprisoning them in predefined roles - roles we as parents expect them to play.

The hero's feats I describe won't make the front page of any newspaper. But what headline can equal the love and admiration seen reflected in the eyes of your own child?

Life Coach and addiction specialist Thomas Gagliano is an author and keynote speaker who has helped institutions and individuals nationwide with his unique approach to parenting and relationships. Tom holds a Master's degree in social work and has also emerged as a high profile leader in the world of addiction and self-help therapy. His first book, The Problem Was Me, landed on the bestseller list, and his second title, Don't Put Your Crap in Your Kid's Diaper, was released September 2015.  Having been a bully, worked through anger issues, and overcome addictions of his own, Tom teaches from experience and from a heart that has been through it all and then some! http://www.thomasgagliano.com/

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