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7 Ways To Enhance The Intimacy In Your Life
By: Thomas Gagliano
1. CREATING AN ENVIRONMENT FOR SAFE COMMUNICATIONS
In a healthy relationship both parties need to discuss the ways they can communicate with each other in a safe way. If not they will become victims to each other and neither party will be able to hear the other’s concerns. The rules may be that neither party will rage at the other or withdraw emotionally. The challenges to these rules will be negotiated. Safe communications is the foundation by which the relationship is built.
2. RELATIONSHIPS ARE NOT ALWAYS 50/50
In a healthy relationship both parties understand there are times where one partner needs to contribute more to the relationship than the other. What may come easy to one may not be easy to the other and this is okay.
3. BECOME AWARE OF THE VERSION OF INTIMACY EACH PARTNER RECEIVED IN CHILDHOOD
For instance, I ask people what intimacy looked like for them when they were children. Were their parents warm and close with each other or was intimacy something to avoid?
4. BE AWARE OF THE TIME TRAVELING PROCESS
This is where we confuse the voices from our childhood with those in our lives today. For instance we may be very sensitive to criticism by our partner because we were judged harshly in our childhood. When criticized it awakens old feelings and messages which will distort our ability to hear our partner and to share our feelings as well.
5. DO YOU WANT TO BE RIGHT OR DO YOU WANT TO BE CLOSE?
Know when to relinquish the need to be right in your conversations with your partner and instead choose closeness by listening instead.
6. HELP YOUR PARTNER WITHOUT EXPECTING A COOKIE IN RETURN
Help your partner in those areas in their life where they don’t expect help. The key is to help them without expecting something back, just do the next right action. This will also help yo get lucky in the bedroom.
7. BE AWARE OF YOUR INNER CRITIC
If you have an inner critic, that inner voice constantly telling you what you’ve done wrong, never allowing you to celebrate your victories, you will give that inner critic to those around you. The answer is you need to work on silencing that inner voice or that voice will sabotage your intimacy.
Interview opportunity: Life Coach and addiction specialist Thomas Gagliano explains how you can get the love and intimacy you want from your relationship today.
Life Coach and addiction specialist Thomas Gagliano is an author and keynote speaker who has helped institutions and individuals nationwide with his unique approach to parenting and relationships. Tom holds a Master’s degree in social work and has also emerged as a high profile leader in the world of addiction and self-help therapy. His first book, The Problem Was Me, landed on the bestseller list, and his second title, Don’t Put Your Crap in Your Kid’sDiaper: