Mental Health News: Public Urged To Learn Dying and Death Skills

Oct. 13, 2011 - PRLog -- The reader is encouraged to freely share this report with family and friends through social networking and email messaging.  

Are you ready to face your own dying and death or that of your loved one? The most common reaction to the subject of death and dying is to feel afraid and to avoid the discussion altogether, yet being able to talk openly about the end of life, is one of the most important conversations.

Unresolved grief from the death of a loved one is a major cause of poor mental health, often resulting in chronic depression, relationship breakdown, addiction, physical illness, and sometimes suicide.

The following principles, statements, and skills are from “Effective Counseling Skills” by Daniel Keeran, MSW, in digital and hard copy at  http://www.amazon.com/Effective-Counseling-Skills-therapeutic-statements/dp/1442177993

WORDS FOR DYING AND LIVING

1. It’s OK to say the words “death” and “dying” to friends and family members who are surviving your death and to the one who is dying.

2. Talk a little about your emotions about dying: fear, anger, guilt, sadness, emptiness, low self-worth, and despair. Say what each emotion is about. If you can start with saying a little, you may find more to say than you realized.

3. Express sincere words of affection and caring such as: “I love you. I will miss you.” Say these words again during the last visit and then say, “Goodbye” as a way of letting go if you are ready.

4. Express sincere apologies and ask forgiveness for specific past wrongs and offenses by saying: “I am sorry for what I did. Can you forgive me?”

5. Extend forgiveness: “When you did that, I felt hurt, and I want you to know that I do sincerely forgive you.”

6. The dying can talk about feelings of leaving loved ones behind, and the living can talk of feelings about the loved one’s leaving.

7. Recall happy memories: “I remember when we....”

8. The dying one can tell loved ones that he or she believes in them and wants them to be happy and successful.

9. The dying person can tell loved ones that he or she wants them to be forgiving and loving of themselves and each other.

10. Talk about anything the loved one has done that you appreciate or admire and any strengths or positive qualities you see in them.

11. Thank the loved one for specific things he or she has done for you.

12. It’s always OK to cry in the presence of the living or the dying, whenever the pain of grief comes up inside you in the moment.

If you are too afraid or nervous about saying these things to loved ones, you can write down what you want to say and read it to them. Just say, “I’ve written some things down that I want to say to you. Is that OK?” For the living and dying, the important principle is to put into spoken words the things that need to be said, if possible.

When a loved one dies with the above areas left unresolved, grief counseling and therapy can help the living to heal and move forward in life.

For more practical principles and skills for grief and bereavement including counseling skills, visit http://www.counseling-skills.com

You may also want to review the report on grief skills at http://prlog.org/11645786

Watch this practical counseling skills video from the College President http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aodrYDAo9xk



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