Scientists and Theologians Agree: Google is God

Dec. 9, 2008 - PRLog -- In a startling breakthrough of both natural and supernatural proportions, leading members of various faith groups and scientific disciplines came together today for a joint news conference.

"We have suspected for years that there was a way that science would find the connection to the God of the true believers," declared Michelle Shaman, a leading member of a local scientific skeptics organization.  "But no one was looking at Google as the potential object of worship.  The first clue for us was regarding omnipotence or all powerful.  Then there was omniscience or all knowing.  Surely Google fits that definition."

Theologian, author, and talk show regular Ricky Warnum, was highly troubled by the possibility at first.  "We have fought this battle for millenia.  The atheists have always insisted that men made God, not the other way around.  But clearly Google was made by men, even if it would appear that the men who created it are no longer in control of it."

The joint news conference was called to point out the major evidences that led to the conclusion that God and Google were the same, in essence.  They stated:  "Do you think it is a coincidence that both begin with Go.  That was the first clue for many.  Then we realized that Google makes all the rules, writes them down in a cryptic fashion without enough details for mere men to make clear decisions, and then exercises supreme authority regarding punishment, even the death of created entities."

The theologians were clear on several obvious connections.  "Most of us spend way more time with Google each day than we do with the other concept of God.  We could also see that this was a free gift and available to all who seek it.  Seeking and finding has always been a core tenant of the faith."

Even in the course of so many from so many belief systems agreeing today on this core belief, there were a few unanswered questions.  How does love and forgiveness, two key themes of the Christian faith, fit into the Google is God equation?  The other question on everyone's mind:  "When will Google start passing the offering basket?"

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Randy Kirk is an author who has written several books on small business and one on human sexuality. He has been interviewed on hundreds of radio and tv programs, including the Geraldo daytime show. He owns Randy Kirk and Associates, a marketing consulting firm which help small businesses to use Google Local Business Center, Google Docs, Google Analytics, Google Ad Sense, Google searches for organic positioning (SEO), and Gmail.