Chaplain Oscar's 'Wish List' on Life, Love & Relationships

NASHVILLE, Tenn. - May 10, 2013 - PRLog -- For many years now I have written from the heart as Life Safety Advocate, Pastor and Published Author. Now it is time to shift my focus back into the managing of a passion I've nursed for over 25 years. Be patient as I will share a little more about that later. My work as a CISM Chaplain and Chauffeur to the Stars gave me an opportunity to share some incredibly special times with many people. For more than a few I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experience gave me an Insider's View of a wide variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

This came from the back of a town car or a stretch limo or in a Hospice setting. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Most all said Oscar" I deeply regretted spending so much of my life on the treadmill of being rich and successful".

Now that I am so much wiser and grounded in the Word of God the BIBLE. The encouragement for you is to simplify your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way. It is very possible to not need the killer income that you think you must have to be happy!

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

My wonderful wife Marsha finds it so funny when I go about my day being happy and speaking to everyone. Initially folks sometimes don't know how to react when you say Good Morning My Friend! But in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level for me because I love giving everyone a big smile. Some smile back some can't stand to be loved from a stranger but either way, you win when you do random acts of goodness to brighten up another's day don't you think?

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible.

But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task.

It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.

That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.

Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. Choose Consciously, Choose Wisely, Choose Honesty. Choose Happy. Choose God.

Send Chaplain Oscar a Message @ http://www.chap@chaposcar.com

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