Blinded By Love…and the Sparkly Wedding Dress

Nov. 10, 2011 - PRLog -- He’s perfect, she’s gorgeous and the two “just click.” It goes from flirting to dating to engaged and then onto happily ever after….or so you think.

But once the rock is on her finger everything becomes about her, the wedding of her dreams, what color the bridesmaids will be wearing, getting the perfect locale and maybe not so much about the relationship.

“Some women get wedding obsessed,” says Dr. Britta Ostermeyer, chief, Psychiatry, Ben Taub General Hospital, part of the Harris County Hospital District. “Planning a wedding can take on a life of its own and the bride may get ‘high’ going through wedding magazines and visiting stores in the quest of making her fantasy come alive.”

But at the same time, Dr. Ostermeyer says some couples lose reality of what marriage is really about — commitment.

“Couples may not realize that there is a problem with their relationship because they are preoccupied with all the wedding preparations,” Ostermeyer says. “Some are so invested in making their perfect day come alive, they don’t realize that it has become more about the wedding day than the relationship.”

What can couples do to ensure their wedding day is just the first day of many years of happiness and not just a short-lived marriage?

“It’s important for couples to focus on their path, their common desires,” Ostermeyer says. “Their wedding day is really just another day. In the midst of planning, couples need to focus on each other and not the big day. Check to see if both are still in it for the right reasons.”

At the same time, some soon-to-be brides and grooms may feel pressured to get married in order to avoid the humiliation of being a runaway bride or groom.

The reality for many Americans is that more than 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. Ostermeyer says that marriage is work.

“From the start, couples need to be mindful that it takes both parties to work on the marriage and relationship,” Ostermeyer says. “Marriage can be whatever you make it — from great to miserable.”

Ostermeyer offers these tips:
• Focus on each other’s needs
• Listen to one another
• Be willing to compromise
• Do not push each other’s buttons when angry

“Marriage is a give and take like any other good functioning business relationships. It can last well and remain successful if both parties are willing,” Ostermeyer says. “Couples need to nurture and feed love and happiness with kindness, care, attention and devotion.”

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The Harris County Hospital District (hchdonline.com) is the community-owned healthcare system for the nation’s third most-populous county, and offers inpatient and outpatient healthcare in more than 40 locations. Harris County Hospital District has been named among the Best Hospitals in the region by U.S. News & World Report and is the recipient of the prestigious National Committee for Quality Assurance designation for its network of patient-centered medical homes. The hospital district is staffed by faculty and residents from nationally ranked medical schools, Baylor College of Medicine and The University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston (UTHealth).