Musical Chairs; who sits where at your wedding reception?

April 9, 2011 - PRLog -- So  you have HIS side and YOUR side and OUR side....that's three sides.......

So  what do  you do with everyone?

Your guests are an important part of your day that's why you're not having your wedding at Starbucks with your officiant and two baristas as witnesses. You want to treat them like royalty. and should be treated well. Part of the reason you are putting so much thought into your wedding is to make your guests feel important and welcome. They're not simply watching your ceremony; they are a vital part of it, so think about all the  options that will allow your guests to have a better view or feel more involved with your day.  If you have chosen to have your wedding in a church or chapel, the pews are probably impossible to move, but if you're in a banquet space or outdoor setting you can be very creative in your seating arrangements.

If you ceremony will take place at a hotel or restaurant, two things are key; enough space for everyone to sit and see you, and enough silence for everyone to  hear the ceremony you and your officiant have crafted so carefully.  You don't want to have a majority of your guests standing, and you don't want to be saying your vows over the clattering of china being place on your reception tables or loud conversations at the adjoining bar.  

If you're outside, your setting may limit the number of actual chairs, but in exchange, your guests can stand so everyone can be a little closer to you. (Even then, some chairs are in order for your guests who wouldn't be comfortable standing throughout the ceremony.)  Think about having them stand in a half circle or even a full circle around the area you want your ceremony performed. I've even seen small groups seated in a spiral that starts with the bride and groom and unfurls from them, as their ceremony does!

Don't forget to save chairs in the front rows for not only your immediate family, but for any small children in the bridal party who may stand quietly for the whole ceremony. Leave a chair or two open if one of the bridesmaids is pregnant (the weather or simply standing that long may not be comfortable for her) or if anyone has a physical challenge that might make a moment off their feet a welcome respite.  Ask your guest readers to sit close to the front and on an aisle, so they don't have to struggle to come forward when it's their time to speak.

But the best idea of all?  Mix up the traditional "Bride's Side" and "Groom's Side" so the bride's family and guests sit behind the groom and visa versa. That way, each partner's family has a clear view of their child's face during the ceremony; and what could be sweeter than that?

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Celia Milton is a wedding officiant and celebrant who creates and performs lighthearted wedding ceremonies and civil unions in new jersey and new york.