Can Social Media Cause Your Relationships to Crash?

March 29, 2010 - PRLog -- Watch for these 7 warning signals that you may be heading for trouble with texting and social media.

1.  Human relationships are dwindling.  Tell me don’t text me. Texting and social media are one dimensional forms of communication – because they are just words.  Words are a tiny part of communication.   7% of human communication comes from words, while 38% is from a person's tone of the voice and 55% comes from body language.  Without face-to-face interaction you are only using 7% of your capacity to communicate.  To have meaningful relationships in our life we can’t communicate one dimensionally.

2.  You become cyber-daring?  Some people are cyber-shy but even more people are cyber-daring.   Haven’t we all emailed or sent a text message that we would be too timid to say in person? With social media and texting we become reckless with our comments.  We can send impulsive and uncensored messages that are riskier.   I’ve witnessed couples have arguments through their Facebook comments – this way they can say whatever they want and feel as though they got the last word.

3.  You feel “tuilty” (texting guilt) or suffer from OTD (Obsessive Texting Disorder).  This is what I call it when you feel guilty when you can’t respond to a text.  You go so far as to ignore people around you so that you can finish your texting conversation.  You have anxiety and are obsessive about staying in constant communication with someone.

4.  Facebook comments or Tweets got you in trouble on the job.  Posting comments about your fun escapades after you’ve called in sick for work has gotten more than one person fired. Watch yourself when making comments about your job, your company and YOUR BOSS! Remember your employer and your customers can read your comments or tweets.  If you talk about your job make sure it’s only positive comments that put your company in the best light.  Some companies block social networking sites from their employees at work – but if you do have access be careful that you aren’t spending too much time tweeting or Facebooking instead of getting your work done.

5.  You didn’t get hired because of a social networking post.  About 30% of companies use social networking to learn about applicants they interview for jobs. Posting comments about your drunken weekend for all to see will cause a potential employer to pass you up.  If you are just out of school and entering the job market remove old party pics from your Facebook or MySpace page.  Remove all photos of you in your underwear, for example!  Better yet, use social networking sites to showcase your strengths, update your site with a nice photo and clean work history, post positive comments that show you have a good attitude and post photos of your accomplishments.  Be cautious about posting information about your bad health or bad relationships that could make an employer hesitant to hire you. Social networking sites are your virtual resume.

6.  Social networking is damaging your present relationship or marriage.  When we meet up with an old high school crush on Facebook the old fear isn’t there.  People share information they would be too nervous to say in person.  Comments can be viewed as flirtatious even when they aren’t intended to be.  In addition, sitting in bed with your laptop while surfing social networking sites will put a damper on your sex life.  Have boundaries with late-night Facebooking.

7.  Social networking got you busted.  Facebook and MySpace posts have been used in the court room.  In Texas, a MySpace posting that said “I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunkaholic” was used in the courtroom by the prosecution in a car fatality case.  Keep in mind that social networking posts can become legal documents.

What can you do when you experience these warning signs? Keep relationships face-to-face not screen-to-screen.  Social networking is now an integral part of our society.  It has many benefits and helps us feel connected.  Let social networking enhance your relationships.  

The next time someone texts you or posts something on Facebook that you know is better said in person, just pick up the phone or plan a face-to-face lunch.  Prevent getting into the trap of relationships that are cyber-heavy.  Resist the urge to return every text message. Make sure you have relationships that are better balanced with in-person interaction.  Strike a good balance between relationships being screen-to-screen and face-to-face.

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Susan Fletcher, Ph.D. is a practicing psychologist & speaker on Emotional Intelligence, productivity, performance & leadership development. She is the author of the books Working in the Smart Zone (2008) & Parenting in the Smart Zone (2005).