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Dealing With Break Up Pain - The Fast Forward Method
They say time will heal any wound. But, what if you could fast forward your break up pain? One man has the answer.
Jackson's approach emphasize heavily on controlling you inner self, rather than acting on emotions. He suggest that in order to detach yourself from your pain, you have to see the break up from your ex's perspective. Your ex have enough reasons to break up with you. Before telling you about the decision, your ex would have been prepared for your reaction, which is typically protesting against the break up.
Although your ex do not want to hurt you, he or she may tweak the real reasons of breaking up into something that you must eventually accept. To justify the break up, your ex may dramatize a trivial issue or even lay the blame on you as excuses. Do you really want to beat yourself over made up reasons and be guilty for it for months?
According to Jackson, a person that is dumped will usually do anything at all to get back with an ex just to avoid the uncomfortable change. Thinking that you may be at fault, you may apologize, explain or even beg for your ex to take you back. This may only reinforce your position as a "dumpee", as in someone who is less worthy, undesirable, unwanted,
abandoned, desperate and needy.
Jackson adds that you therefore need to level the playing field by setting yourself as a mutual partner in the break up and indirectly put yourself in control. Since you can't change the past and select your response all over again, what you can do now is to stop thinking like a dumpee and regain your self confidence. This may even increase the odds of your ex wanting you back, based on Jackson's observation that people always want what they cannot get.
To fast forward your grieving period, Jackson suggest that you purge all the negativity from your system. Calling your ex to pour your heart out won't work, and should be avoided at all cost. Instead, grab a pen and a piece of paper and start writing down what you want to tell your ex. Do not hold back and remember to jot down whatever that comes to mind without thinking.
What you are doing is essentially sorting out your own scattered feelings, a process that normally take months to happen naturally. You are to read the letter again once you are done to gain new insights into your inner voices. Remember that you are not supposed to send this letter to your ex, merely keeping it as a guide to your own feelings. Once you have worked out your own emotions, moving on can take place.
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The complete version of The Fast Forward Method can be found in The Magic Of Making Up by T. W. Jackson (http://www.WinningExBack.org/