My Big Fat Cat Elvis Is 90 Days Sober

LOS ANGELES - Jan. 1, 2022 - PRLog -- This is Elvis my 40 pound cat. Had a cocaine addiction and now is 90 days sober! If your cat is gone for days or weeks at a time. They're either doing coke or crack oooor.... mice. You never know!. They never bring you coke.... but they do bring you back mice, birds, lizards etc...
You would think Elvis the cat would be thinner. No. Eats like a champ and has a real cocaine problem. One would ask. Where is he getting all this cocaine? Cats don't have money. Hmmmm? Why do you think he's always rubbing his teeth?
And he won't shut up!
He brought Ron Jeremy home once.
He's constantly looking through the peephole.
I put a line of White-out on a mirror and he went nuts!
I coat his food with flour.
I have to cut his stash with baby laxitive.
I have to test it for fentanyl.
I don't do coke, but man, a cat that gets it free... what a damn good business!
Please monitor your cats, because they might bring it to your dogs!

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