Mothering A Differently – Abled Child

SAFDARJUNG, India - Feb. 18, 2016 - PRLog -- As part of the series of Dark mothering going on at my blog Nirvanama, this is my sixth post about the various challenges mothers go through and which are not talked as much as they deserve in our society. So here is another challenge some of us go through- having a differently-abled child. I hate calling children that, I think they are more of children of God than others. But in the lack of any other term, I would use the reference of differently- abled children to talk of children who are mentally/physically different from us.

And in the lack of experience, I would humbly accept that I might not be able to cover all that moms of differently- abled children go through.

However, I have always believed since my first post at Nirvanama that my aim is to be build a “motherhood gang”. #HAMOGA (HAppy MOthers’ GAng) is a hashtag some of you must have noticed on my blog and promotions. So I would implore all the mothers who have experience with differently-abled children to please post their experiences and be part of our HAMOGA. We are here for each other!

What I would like to say about differently-abled children is that it’s just a societal nomenclature. Who are you or I to say what is abled and what is different? We have a social way of conduct and whoever doesn’t fit it gets called different. Unfortunately!

So I would request all moms of differently-abled children to first know in their hearts that their kids are not odd or different. They are just wired differently. They still have their set of strengths, emotions, weaknesses and challenges. They are as unique as any other child. They bring as much joy (if not more) than any other child.

In fact there are some things that they teach you more than any other mom will learn in a lifetime (and ironically these are the things which I feel that if all mom learn, it will make their journey much more pleasurable irrespective of the kind of child they have). So listen up ALL moms…

Differently-abled children make you:

Extremely humble: You become more aware of presence of fate and faith. And you become a humbler person!

Grateful for the smaller joys of life: Instead of a 95%, you focus more on the smile of your child. You realize that health and happiness is far more important and crucial than buying houses, cars or getting into XYZ college or any other pomp and show!

More in touch with the humane side of you: Everything that is human and seems to be getting lost in today’s day and age comes to you in leaps and bounds- tolerance, patience, acceptance etc.

Get away from the rat race of so called “life”: Suddenly office meetings, deadlines and peer pressure give way to health, happiness and humanity. It’s a lesson most of us don’t learn ever! And a differently-abled child teaches you that instantly!

Get your priorities about you and your children straight: Quality time gives way to lots of time. Presents give way to presence. You get all your priorities correct!

Experience the innocence and joy of everyday life: The innocence and humble joys that brings a smile to your child’s face remind you of the innocence and simplicity life can be led by and yet be equally enjoyable and beautiful.

More spiritual and emotionally sound: As it is, motherhood has a natural side effect of becoming stronger- emotionally, mentally and spiritually. A differently-abled child brings you that in greater volumes!

Cherish your moments together even more: Some of us who have limited years with our children get to know the real meaning of parenting and life in general. A lesson most of us will die without even knowing. Cherishing is a concept becoming more and more alien from parenting everyday!

More aware of eternal questions life who we are, what is our purpose:  While most of us finish our lifetimes wondering what we are here for, differently-abled children give you that purpose in a silver platter. Those who have cared for a differently-abled child are far more at peace with this “purpose” question than all of us put together!

A proud mom!: Most importantly, differently-abled children make you a proud mom! All children make us proud, no doubt. But the joy and purpose, the memories and mementos, the stories and journey which mothers of differently abled children go through are lessons for all of us moms out there. Differently-abled children pack many lifetimes of joy in their short span on this earth. They help us know the joy of life and the peace in death.

In fact I think caring for such a child is an instant path to Moksha.

Such moms are automatic “NIRVANAMA”