Should I Call My Ex Boyfriend On His Birthday? What You Need To Know

Jan. 20, 2014 - PRLog -- Are you thinking about contacting your ex boyfriend and think that his upcoming birthday is the perfect excuse to do so? You have gone radio silence for days and weeks and you miss him like mad. You don't want him to think that you don't care about him anymore by letting his birthday pass unacknowledged. You secretly think that he will be expecting you to get in touch so you have a duty to do so. It is a confusing time and making the wrong decision could scupper your chances of ever getting back together with him in the future.

There is a genuine fear that he will be hurt, angry or upset with you if you don't contact him on his birthday, but think about how he has treated you in the past days and weeks. Has he been rude to you? Has he completely ignored you and not made an effort to stay in your life or remain friends? If this is the case then you have no moral responsibility to wish him a happy birthday. If he has been treating you badly then he doesn't deserve your birthday wishes. The thing is, he will be secretly expecting you to get in touch with him on his birthday. He thinks that he knows you inside out, the way you behave in certain situations etc. By not giving him what he expects he will be forced to sit up and take notice and start to question his treatment of you. What did he do or say that hurt or upset you enough not to wish him a happy birthday. Don't condone his bad behaviour by being nice to him on his birthday, then he will never think that he did anything wrong.

The Realities Of Contacting Him On His Birthday

You may well have some fanciful notions of what will happen when you call your ex boyfriend on his birthday. You may imagine a romantic connection on the phone where both of you start swooning and realise how much you miss each other. Maybe you think that he will invite you to his party and admit that he still has feelings for. Whatever the ideas in your head are, the reality is much more sobering. Despite what Hollywood movies have you believe, normal life is not all romance and fireworks. Sometimes guys are just downright vindictive and life is shitty. The phone call will NEVER go the way that you expect it to.
The last thing that you want to happen is that your ex boyfriend ignores your phone call completely and doesn't call you back. He will know it is you, he will recognise your number and probably knows it off by heart. Can you imagine how you would feel then? You have already gone through a lot since the break up and getting to this stage has meant a lot of suffering and self control. Don't undo all of your hard work by giving in at the last hurdle. When you open yourself up to pain and expect him to behave like a gentleman, you will only ever be disappointed.
What do you really expect the conversation to be like? It is hardly going to be like old time and you will be the best of friends, nattering away about what your have both been up to. Both of you will be holding back, nervous, unsure of what to say. There will be many more awkward silences and when you hang up the phone you will kick yourself about how foolish you have been. What if he is in the middle of a party or with someone having a great time and your phone call drags him away? You will feel like crap that he is having a great time without you and wonder who is there. Don't put yourself through this, it just isn't worth the heartache.

What You Should Consider Doing Instead

When his birthday does happen, you should just ignore it and treat it like any other day. You may worry that he will start thinking of you negatively, but that is not necessarily the case. If you allow his birthday to pass you by it will put you in a stronger position long term. Don't text him either on his special day. Instead, what you should do is to send him a text a few days later to wish him a happy belated birthday. This sends out a very strong message to him. That you did remember, but that you were too busy to call him and that he is no longer the centre of your world. You don't want him thinking that you are pining over him and lamenting the demise of your relationship, even if you are. You have your self respect to think about here.
This approach will probably hurt his feelings somewhat and that is probably the last thing that you want to do to him. However, it is a powerful way to turn the tables on your ex boyfriend and make him take an interest in you again. You see, when he gets the message that he is no longer the centre of your universe, he will start to want you again and fear that you are slipping through his fingers. He will start to worry that you have already moved on and then start to make more of an effort with you. Men intrinsically want and desire what they can't have. If he still has any feelings left towards you it will jolt him into taking proactive steps to win you back. When you seem uninterested, he will only want you more. Funny how reverse psychology works, isn't it?

Your Next Steps - Do You Want Him Back?

You need to understand how to open up the lines of communication with him again. If you haven't already heard about the no contact rule you really need to learn about it. Before any contact can take place between you, you will have to have implemented this strategy to make him want to talk to you again. Find out what it entails at the link below.
http://knowhowtogetyourexback.com/2012/07/use-the-no-contact-rule-to-get-your-ex-boyfriend-back

How To Make Him Want You Back

Let's face it, he will never get back together with you unless he wants you first. That is why you need to understand the male psyche and how he views your behaviour post break up. The link below will teach you exactly what you need to know about making him desire you again and start to see you as a potential girlfriend.
http://knowhowtogetyourexback.com/2012/07/how-to-make-your-ex-boyfriend-want-you-back

Find Out If He Still Likes You

You need to know where you really stand with your ex boyfriend, but you can't just go up to him and ask. He will never admit the truth under pressure, there is too much at stake and he doesn't want to get hurt again or his ego to be bruised. That is why you have to do some detective work. Reading his body language and deciphering the hidden meaning behind what he says will reveal his true feelings and intentions. The link below will teach you the signs to look out for.
http://knowhowtogetyourexback.com/2012/03/does-he-still-like-me-how-to-find-out