Terrific Tuesday from Motivate America ~ Why Does "Bullying" Exist?

March 5, 2013 - PRLog -- In my book, “Who Are You?” I introduce the most significant addition to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in 60 years.  My fundamental premise was, “how can a one-dimensional model represent the complexity of the multidimensional human experience?”  It can’t.

For many years and across many industries, some very smart people have interpreted Dr. Maslow’s brilliant Hierarchy of Needs, which is represented as a triangle, as a pyramid.  People refer to it as a “pyramid.”  And yet, there was nothing being measures on any other sides.

Dr. Maslow’s work is considered by many as the foundational study on human behavior and motivation. WHAT MOTIVATES PEOPLE?    Well, we can assume that there are many things that “motivate” people and as the ONLY motivational and leadership speaker in America to ever have a day of recognition passed by The United States Congress and founder of National Motivation & Inspiration Day and President of Motivate America, I have had an ongoing interest and curiosity of what “motivates” people.

In my book, “Who Are You?” I introduce my 21st Century Multidimensional Hierarchy of Needs, which addresses the multidimensional nature of the human experience, which leads me to address why “Bullying” exists.  Well, first, I think we are doing ourselves and our children a disservice by not defining what constitutes “bullying” and why it exists.

For example, there is now literally a discussion about creating laws that will make “bullying” in the work place a crime!  Are they kidding?!

In Maslow’s Hierarchy there is a stage between “Safety” and “Belonging” that creates and reinforces “bullying” or as Darwin might have referred to it, “survival of the fittest.”  There are people in our “modern day society” that live in fear, every day.  They fear leaving their homes.  They fear people at work and that they interact with and in the worst cases, there are people that live in fear in their own homes.  Think of an animal in the wild getting ready to leave its cave.  What does it do?  It looks for enemies and food.  First, it does not want to be eaten, so it looks for predators.  Once it is clear to leave its “home” it then begins to look for food.  Once the animal gets past this sense of fear and safety it can then try to find a sense of “belonging” within a “pack.”

Humans seem to forget that we are “pack animals.”  Why does “bullying” exist?  Because there are members of our “pack” that are insecure and uncertain.  They are fearful that they will be rejected or cast out of a “clique” or “pack” that they belong to and therefore will try to ingratiate themselves with the pack by alienating others that might take their place within the pack.  

In the wild, what happens when two “Alpha Males” fight for control of a heard?  That’s right, in many instances it is a fight to the death or until one of the “alpha males” leaves.

In our “society,” it doesn’t need to be just “Alpha Males.”  Many of those have already been neutered by our society.  In watching little girls during this entire “bullying” debate, we see that it doesn’t take “alpha males” to be “bullies,” little girls are quite capable as well.  And when you speak to some teachers and parents, we find that some of our sweet little girls are actually the most vicious bullies!   The old saying, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” seems to be a thing of the past and we have come to the reality that “WORDS” are possibly the most powerful and damaging thing that we possess as humans against other humans.

So, why does “bullying” exist?

In this battle to gain acceptance and belonging into various groups and cliques within our society there are people that DO NOT WANT US TO BELONG.   Therefore, they use words and teasing and in some cases physical abuse to alienate or ward off potential challengers to their position within the clique or pack.  Whether it be at school, the playground, work or the Country Club.  People want to create exclusions where they can “belong” and feel safe and secure.  

This is why I created the 21st Century Multidimensional Hierarchy of Needs.  Because we need to understand our own nature and the nature and motivations of all human beings and the natural desire to compete for love and belonging.  Darwinism, is about “survival of the fittest.”  What we may be doing is neutering the “alphas” in our species so that the less dominant and weaker and possibly weakest can survive.

This week, I will post something each day as we move toward my book signing on Sunday, March 10th at 4:00 at The Book Revue in Huntington, NY.     http://www.bookrevue.com/KevinMcCrudden.html