Swans Lament Loss of Stop Sign Stanton

March 1, 2012 - PRLog -- The Hanoi Swans Australian Rules Football Club has not won a game in over a year, coinciding with the departure of then-captain-coach, Gregory F Stanton.

Stanton was a classy wingman, and a veteran of the Mulgrave District Football League. He was also much maligned in opposition circles as a chronic squirrel gripper (a claim he has not denied).

‘Stop Sign Stanton’, as he was affectionately known within the club, departed due to his relocation overseas. ‘Stop Sign’ was a reference to his oft-quoted inspirational address made to the playing group on September 7, 2010, which included the following now-infamous lines:
- If you *%&$#* don’t stop that $&*$@%@ little *%*$ with a *#%*%$ squirrel-@#$%$^%*-grip or two, I’m gonna rip yer *#$&%* heads the @$%#$* off.
- No @*$%* goes through me. I’m a @#$*$^% stop sign.
- He goes orright, number 32, so let’s rip his @#?*#?* legs off and feed ‘em to the #%$#$* monkeys.
- What the @#*$@#$*’s wrong with you @$*%#$ today?

(Worth noting is that Stanton preferred the nickname, Hirdy, and points to the fact that he is officially listed at the Swans clubrooms as Gregory F ‘Hirdy’ Stanton. Hirdy does not appear on his birth certificate, however).

The Swans have failed to come within 35 points of their opponents since Stanton’s departure. Those opponents, other Asian-based teams, have included the Shanghai Square Holes, the Bangkok Breast-Ticklers, the Rangoon Rednecks (who play out of a prison field), the Kuala Lumpur Kualas-get-it, the Phnom Penh P-Silent H’s & P’s and the Pusan Pakka-Bastards. Ironically, Stanton now resides in Phnom Penh, but has so far declined the $3.75-per-week standing offer from the P-Silent H’s & P’s.