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Follow on Google News | Dubai Life Coach & Development Expert, Hanan Nagi speaks About "Fired!?"A great new article from Hanan Nagi talking about handling being fired or separated from your company. Ways to cope up and move on from lost and start better career.
By: Hanan Nagi It definitely can be stressful for anyone to lose his/her monthly income, especially with the current global economic situation and the limited employment opportunities available in the market at the moment. Yet, family bread-winners or those with serious financial commitments and no other sources of income would without doubt experience much more stress and fear than those with no or little financial obligations when a steady income source is lost. What are the natural emotions people go through - are there set stages? I have a few client who have lost their jobs recently and I could see that the usual most common reaction after the initial shock is an overwhelming sense of fear, insecurity, blame and anger. The person made redundant tends to immediately jump to the worst case scenario like (my family is going to starve or I am going bankrupt …etc), which more often than not, never actually happens! But as people can become so emotional in such situation, they fail for a while to think calmly, evaluate options wisely, or think out of the box and come up with creative solutions , at least until they decide to do that consciously. What should people do immediately after it happens? While the above mentioned fearful reaction is normal, one needs to immediately make a conscious effort to switch on the rational thinking, self-confident and optimistic mood in his brain and not surrender to those horrific fearful thoughts. This can happen by simply recognizing this as a -normal exaggerated emotional reaction- triggered by our built-in self protecting & surviving mechanism and that it is just a phase and will pass by faster if s/he gently recognized it, appreciated it, and consciously decided to let go of it. It is also very important, especially in this economic crisis time, for the person made redundant to remember that s/he was not "fired" for individualistic reasons such as poor performance or gross misconduct for instant, so the redundancy decision made most probably had nothing to do with his capabilities or performance as an employee or professional, but with the job or the industry business nature itself which just happened to have got badly affected by the global crisis, hence, the sense of anger, disappointment or blame for self or others, have no reason to be kept indulged at. One should be aware that negative emotions feed and grow on negative emotions, which of course immediately hinder your creative and logical thinking from finding solutions to the issue at hand, so be smart and stop that vicious circle from the start. What are the best ways to keep your spirits up? In my opinion, after you have had that conscious rational talk with yourself and calmed down, do yourself a favor and be alone for a while ( a good few hours if possible) to perform some exercises which can help you putting your thoughts in a logical order (see below) and regaining your self-confidence before you go and inform anyone of what happened, Why? 1- Your dependant(s) 2- Your friends or acquaintances might- attempting to show you support and care- make you panic by asking you the wrong questions..for example "oh my god, what are you going to do with that huge mortgage you have got to pay every month?" instead of asking a question like "Ok, what other skills or experiences you have which can be of demand in the current market situation?". More importantly..DO NOT join the "recently made redundant club"! Misery loves company, we all know that. Be smart and for the next few weeks, socialize only with positive supportive people who would encourage you to think out of the box instead of crying over the spelt milk. Are there any techniques you'd suggest people use in order to take stock of their lives and decide what to do next? Right after the calming self talk and the recognition of the natural negative reaction, sit in a quiet place with a pen and paper, take a deep breath, thank all your fearful thoughts for their attempts to protect you by constantly and dramatically alarming you to the danger and risk coming ahead (be aware of the exaggeration factor here), and just let go temporarily (to be very practical and real) of all your worries, just for those 30 minutes. 1- List minimum 5 huge problems you previously experienced in your life and how you thought or felt at some point of time that they were never going to be solved. 2- For every problem, write - to remind your self- how you successfully overcame each one of them (or simply what you did). 3- List for each problem the personal skills you used to succeed in overcoming that negative experience. The same set of skills you are going to use now to overcome this problem. It is still YOU who did it, is not it? 4- Write how you felt at first when the problem occurred, how you felt after you solved it, and how you feel about it now when you look back at it. 5- Review what you wrote for each problem and write a brief conclusion starting with (I can……). By the end of this exercise, people usually feel more confident and trusting in their own personal power and skills, consequently, the fear level drops, and the rational and creative thinking appears. -There are also various coaching techniques which can be followed for those considering venturing a new jobs or career to help recognizing what they really want combining passion, skills with life goals. In what other ways can being made redundant become a positive? For some people, it could be a bless! Look at it as an opportunity to review what you really want in life and where do you stand today from achieving it. Again there are various exercises which can be used to identify that, one of which, is the "wheel of life" which you can easily find on the internet. List down all the opportunities you have at the moment which were not available or possible before because you were tied to a corporate job. It could be time to take some risk and bring that dream you had on the shelf for years to life. Be your own boss, or partner with another good professional, change careers to do something you enjoy more, go back to study if your circumstances allow or take some time off and go travel the world. Opportunities are unlimited and all around you, it just takes an open mind and a free courageous spirit to see them. Now you can go and inform your family or close friends because you have a problem AND many potential solutions in hand. Hanan Nagi Executive & Personal Coach, Speaker +971-50-145 70 55 hanan@transformlc.com http://www.transformlc.com # # # Transform your life and be the better person you want, Now it is your choice and nothing in the world can alter that. TransformLC provides Personal or Executive Coaching. Coaching sessions can be held face to face or through a video conference call. End
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