My Ex Boyfriend Wants To Stay Friends After The Break Up - Should We?

Feb. 12, 2014 - PRLog -- Deciding whether or not to be friends with your ex boyfriend after the break up is a common predicament. On one hand you want to keep him in your life, after all you have shared so much together and he knows all of your secrets. It seems like cutting him out of your life for good is really harsh. On the other hand, it is hard to pretend that you only see eachother as friends now. It is awkward seeing him again and it hurts that you can't be with him romantically anymore. When you are making your decision you should base it on how you feel about your ex boyfriend. If there are still feelings there, being friends with him is not a great idea for either of you. If you are over him completely and the break up was a mutual decision, then there is no reason why you both can't be grown up about the whole thing and remain friends. It is only when feelings are involved and one or two people aren't ready to move on, that friendship is inadvisable.

That being said, you have to understand the repercussions of staying friends with your ex boyfriend and how things could pan out between you both. Being forewarned is forearmed and you can anticipate problems long before they arise.


Why Does Your Ex Boyfriend Want To Stay Friends With You?

You have to ask yourself this question and be honest with yourself. No matter what your ex boyfriend says, he could have ulterior motives, or he could just be lying to spare your feelings. Whatever the scenario is, you have to dig a little deeper and understand his motives for friendship. Otherwise you could end up getting really hurt again and it will take even longer for you to get over him.

After your breakup your ex boyfriend said some things to try and soften the blow. We all do it. We don't want to hurt the person anymore than we have to. Breaking up is hard to do and hurting someone that you care about is never easy. That is why people often say things that they don't really mean. This is especially true for guys. They don't like all of the drama involved in breaking up with a girl and want to extricate themselves from the situation as quickly and as painlessly as possible. That is why they will tell you things like "It's not you, it's me." or "We can still be friends."

As if being friends is an acceptable substitute. He just doesn't know what to say to stop you from blowing up, getting angry or sobbing your heart out. It is not that he is intentionally lying to you, it is just that he is trying to protect your feelings and give you something to cling onto. The truth of the matter is often quite different and his intentions may be completely opposite with regards to sustaining a friendship.

He Might Just Want You Around For A Booty Call

As hard as it may be to hear, there is a distinct possibility that your ex boyfriend only wants you as a 'friend' so that he can call you up whenever he is horny. If he knows that you still have feelings for him he will think that you will not put up much of a fight and agree to whatever he wants as long as you can be close again. This is wrong on so many levels, you know it and he knows it. If he thinks that you are easy picking he will try his luck though, so you have to be prepared for this scenario.

You might hope against hope that this situation could work in your favour and being sexual with him will make him realise what he is missing. Trouble is, reality is quite different from the idealism in your head. How will you feel when you wake up the next morning, wanting to have a chat about where you stand with him now, expecting him to declare that he misses you and wants you back, only to realise that he still wants to be single and that sleeping with you was just a one off? Not only would you feel angry and betrayed, but you would feel cheap and disappointed with yourself. If you want to win him back in the future he has to have more respect for you than this and realise that he cannot treat you like a back up plan. You want him to be with you for you don't you? Not just for sex.

He Might Want To Explore His Options But Keep You On The Side

Another reason why your ex boyfriend wants to stay friends after the breakup is because he might want you back in the future, but isn't ready to commit to you just yet. Imagine a scenario where your ex boyfriend sees some other girl that he quite likes, he knows that he couldn't pursue her when you were together, but having broken up with you he is free to explore his other options. He isn't ready just yet to give up on the notion that you both might end up back together down the line, but right now, he is more interested in this new girl than he is in you. Horrible isn't it?

By getting you to agree to remain friends with him, he still keeps the lines of communication open and gives you hope that you might get back together. Meanwhile he is pursuing someone else, but he doesn't have to answer to you any more or tell you what he is up to. He might be thinking that he can give this new girl a try and see how it pans out whilst you are waiting in the wings to take over if it all crumbles to dust. He is having the best of both worlds here and he knows it.

Although these two scenarios are worst case at best, you still have to prepare yourself for the fact that these intentions might be going through his head. It might not just be as bad as this though and he could genuinely want to maintain contact with you. If this is the case you then have to think about what this will do to you in the long run if you still have feelings for him.

Your Next Steps - Do You Want Him Back?

If you want to get your ex boyfriend back and aren't happy with just being his friend, there are things that you need to be doing, and fast. The link below will take you through specific steps that you can implement now to bring him back to you and create desire in him once again. These strategies use male psychology to your advantage. Click the link below to get started.

http://beingdumped.net/win-your-ex-back

Avoid These Break Up Mistakes

There are a ton of mistakes that girls like you make after a break up. It is only natural that you act emotionally, it is a tough time. However, to get him back again you need to be aware of how he sees your behaviour. You probably think that you are doing nothing wrong. He sees it differently. The link below shows you what things you should be avoiding.

http://beingdumped.net/break-up-mistakes

Find Out If He Still Likes You

Would you like to know if your ex boyfriend still likes you? Of course you would! Take a look at the link below to see how he really feels. He will be doing certain things to hide his true emotions, but with a little know how you can figure out where you stand with him.  http://beingdumped.net/signs-ex-still-likes-me