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Follow on Google News | Optimism versus Worry: Who Wins?How many moments a day do you find your worries doing battle with your optimism? In this essay, Dr. Russ discusses the history of the meaning of the word worry as a lead into identifying five key strategies to eliminate worry and regain optimism.
By: Dr. Russ Buss The Positive Side of Worry Worry is a human emotion that has some survival value because if we did not have the capacity to worry we would not be able to take preventative measures to avoid an unwanted or untoward outcome. Worry Can be Self-Destructive Since the 19th century worry has been defined as: “To feel uneasy about something, be troubled.” Worrying about whether one should walk down a dark alley of a metropolitan area late at night is likely to lead to some kind of self-protective action. The problem with we humans is that we dwell on our worries. We mull them over and over to a point of self-destructive rumination. Let’s take a look at the secondary definition of worry: “To pull or tear at something with or as if with teeth.” I suppose that might mean that if we are really worried about something we might say: “I am so upset. I could pull my hair out.” Now we are beginning to see the self-destructive part. Worry as Destructive to Others While the primary definition of worry is an internal emotional state triggered by “troubling” * To bother or annoy, as with petty complaints; * To attack roughly or repeatedly, harass. The dictionary also gives us the origin of the word back to the Middle Ages and before: * The ancestor of our word, Old English wyrgan, meant "to strangle." Its Middle English descendant, worien, kept this sense and developed the new sense "to grasp by the throat with the teeth and lacerate" or "to kill or injure by biting and shaking." * . . . in the 17th century the word took on the sense "to bother, distress, or persecute." I am struck by the historical shift in the definition from a pre 19th century external destruction of others to an internal gnawing at oneself. In either case, internal or external, optimism and worry are struggling against each other in a constant daily if not moment-to-moment TUG-OF-WAR. When Optimism Teams up with Worry Further examination of the dictionary brings us to yet another possible definition: * To proceed doggedly in the face of difficulty or hardship; struggle: worried along at the problem. In this definition, worry is some kind of positive underlying force that keeps us going in the face of difficult circumstances. For example, thoughts about going to “superhuman feats” to protect a child in danger come to mind here. Here the worry is fueling the “optimism” Five Dr. Russ Busster Tips to Eliminate Worry W - Worst Case Scenarioing. Do define and clarify your worst case scenario so that you have a plan for overcoming or avoiding it. The plan gives you the security you need to stop worrying. O – Ordering. Make a list of the detailed steps you will need to take to achieve your goal. We usually worry more when we wonder if we will every achieve the long tem end goal. When we focus on the next step, we only have to worry about one thing at a time. R – Remember. Anticipatory anxiety is always worse than the real thing. “Butterflies” R – Renew your faith in a higher power, spirituality, or God. Through prayer, silent or out loud, you can call on Him twenty four seven. He is always in and willing to listen to your problems even when everyone else has turned a deaf ear. Y – Yarn. A worry is just a yarn or one version of a story that has yet to come true. Want to rid yourself of a worry. Try rewriting the yarn with at least three different endings. Best case, worst case and “I could live with that.” Then see how you feel. Still ruminating too much, rate each story in terms of the probability a particular ending is likely. If the “Worst Cast Scenario is likely, it is time to make a significant change or take preventive action. Go to the "Optimism Blog:" http://www.drrussbuss.com # # # About Moment-to-Moment: End
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