How to Manage the Costs of Your Present Conflict with a Conflict Coach

March 25, 2011 - PRLog -- The truth is, emotional conflict (whether it’s marital conflict, conflict at work, conflict with children or family members) has impacts that none of us can ignore. If we let pride get in the way, thinking we “have everything under control,” conflict can fester and seethe, turning into something that can cost us very, very dearly. Think of it as not paying off a credit card. What happens when you keep putting your payments off? That’s right; the interest jacks up, and your bill increases.

What are some of these costs of conflict? How does leaving situations unresolved hurt us emotionally, physically, and financially? Finally, how can turning to Conflict Coach help you recover those costs and prevent them from happening again?


Marital conflict, when left to bottle up without a resolution, can end in separation, divorce, and shattered dreams. Not only do you lose the marriage you once entered into quite happily; you lose the years of your life you invested in that person. Now, not all divorcees have to walk away feeling like they wasted their lives; plenty of marriages end respectfully, with a mature realization that the two are better off friends, and that the marriage was a learning experience (not a waste).

On the other hand, ending on a note of animosity – such as not dealing with the problems, and finally just giving up with seeking help – leads to regret, remorse, and low self-esteem. You’ll feel like you wasted your energy on that person, and you’d right. Neither of you tried to learn (or asked for help to learn) something from the conflict that broke you apart.

On a financial note, divorce and separation itself can duplicate housing costs, travel costs, and other expenses. If one of you is made to leave quickly, or if the separation is messy or angry, you may lose things that are precious to you. You may have to give up possessions, heirlooms, personal savings, and investments. To no mention the costs of going to court, child support, and alimony. If your previously blissful marriage is disrupted by conflict, why not invest in coaching instead of a new life of new expenses? You never know, Conflict Coach may have better strategies for managing the conflict that is threatening to end your relationship. Perhaps you could even learn how to leave graciously and in peace?

If you and your partner, you and a friend, or you and a coworker have a prolonged conflict, you can bet that your fellow friends and coworkers are going to take sides. One or the other of you is going to lose support from those people. If the conflict is especially petty or you are both especially rude or stubborn, both of you can end up losing friends. Thus, opportunities for growth are not only thwarted between the two of you – you lose the opportunity to grow with your support system, as well! Why would anyone want to be friends with someone who is too proud, holds too many grudges, will sabotage at will? Who would want to hire that person?

This leads us to the emotional costs of unresolved conflict. You become isolated from the person you’re in conflict with, and from his/her relatives and friends. If you are married to that person, this isolation will be especially painful. Being constantly on your guard, trying to think up new defenses and attacks, will lead to paranoia and self-doubt. You’ll be hesitant to develop new connections because you will find it hard to trust people again, and will fear being hurt.

Lastly are the very real costs on your physical self. Living in a perpetual state of unhappiness produces stress and has huge psychosomatic impacts. Your health in general deteriorates, and you may begin suffering stress-related, body-mind illnesses such as chronic pain, aches, insomnia, over- or under-eating, depression, digestion or reflux problems, ulcers, migraines, and more. If you need financial motivation, the cost of visiting psychologists, doctors, or even the hospital will drain your funds quicker than you can make them!

We can all learn something from conflict, if only how to end relationships or move on in a healthy, respectful manner. Every sticky situation can give us something to take away. No conflict or person is a waste of energy if you see your turmoil as a learning situation and opportunity for growth.

Whatever your reasons have been for putting off professional help, it’s important to realize that without help and support, an emotional conflict that you don’t know how to handle will only get worse. The longer you wait, the greater the cost to yourself and other people involved.

Think you’re ready to buckle down and reach out to someone? To get help and start your healing process today, contact Coach Nora of Conflict Coach. Your first consultation with her is free, and her convenient phone and online based coaching offers privacy and confidentiality.

If you don't ask for coaching now, how will you cope with the endless costs of your conflict? Contact Coach Nora today, at http://conflictcoach.me/services. Coaching is easy and affordable.

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Creative Conflict Resolutions' purpose now is to find the tools which would transform any relationship from a damaged, unhappy state, into one of reciprocal cooperation, acceptance, recognition and love. Learn to heal your relationships for a better life!