Is Ego Necessary for Optimism?

Feb. 8, 2011 - PRLog -- * “Or, I think of a life in which time upon time there is flight from risk, so as to protect an image of oneself.  This adds up to an armed fortress containing all the things one could have been or done.”  Carol Dweck

Why is ego a problem for optimism?  Ego is a problem for optimism when the self is viewed as an ENTITY as opposed to an INCREMENT.  An entity is largely fixed, an increment is incremental and grows and adapts. Entities get focused on building themselves up, protecting themselves, and then can become obsolete in need of destruction.  Entities are not built to adapt, increments are adaptive and they do it moment-by-moment.

The ENTITY oriented ego believes that ego strength is having high ability and never showing weakness or vulnerability.  The major goals of the ENTITY are to protect the ego.  The ENTITY is more about creating and aggrandizing the image than accomplishing the goal.  The only time the ENTITY takes on a challenging task is when it believes it is already good at the task and better than others.  The ENTITY never adapts, it just keeps finding ways to impress, control and overpower with its prowess, over and over.  The ENTITY has many sleepless nights and is full of anxiety and worry afraid of destruction by self or others.

The INCREMENTALLY oriented ego believes that ego strength is derived from the confidence one gets by gradually increasing skill and ability over time with learning and effort.  The INCREMENTAL ego has nothing to lose unless it stops trying.  There is nothing to protect, nothing to aggrandize, and defeat is not possible.  The only thing important to this ego is acquiring more skill and making the effort.  CONFIDENCE for the INCREMENTAL ego is a belief that effort will move it along somewhere beyond where it was, over a period of time.  The INCREMENT is relatively free of anxiety and worry because no matter what happens to it, it can try and move forward another increment.

The optimist learns to live as an INCREMENTAL EGO.   But, the INCREMENT is not really an ego at all.  The ego is lost in pursuit of the goal and the solution of the problem.  The ego remains small and effortful, an INCREMENT.  As more and more is learned and mastered, the ego does not get bigger, but skills and abilities do.  Skills and abilities are only useful to the extent they help one solve a problem, accomplish a goal, or help another.

The only goals of the ENTITY EGO are those associated with making it a BIGGER AND BETTER EGO.  The only goals of the INCREMENTAL EGO are solving bigger and more difficult problems, helping others do the same, and sacrificing one’s ego for the betterment or another’s INCREMENTAL EGO.

Which type of EGO are you?  Which type of EGO do you want to be?  Becoming an INCREMENTAL EGO is not easy, but it can be learned with effort.  Anyone can begin traveling the INCREMENTAL, moment-to-moment path at any time.  Most of us were taught to believe in the ENTITY EGO at home and school, early in life.  The problem in moving from the ENTITY to the INCREMENTAL is not one of learning, but of giving up the fear of LETTING GO OF THE ENTITY.

Which would you rather say at the end of the day or of your life?

   * I’ve still got it, I’m still able, and everybody knows it.

OR

   * I made strong commitments and an earnest effort to pursue the goals I valued, that benefited others and helped the next generation live a life of growth and contribution.

{Today’s post is based, in part, on the theory and research of developmental psychologist Carol Dweck, Self-Theories, Psychology Press, 1999, Ch. 19}

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