Advice And Help After The Affair

Dec. 26, 2009 - PRLog -- The affair is usually a sign that the person doing the cheating is looking for something they're not getting from the relationship. This isn't saying that the partner who was cheated on is doing anything wrong, just that there is a major problem in the relationship.

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After the affair a relationship is the weakest it's ever likely to be, but this can be a good thing. This sounds like it is hard to believe, but the truth is that the time after the affair is also the time that can make or break a relationship, which can be a huge opportunity.

Nobody likes to be cheated on. Nobody should be cheated on. But cheating isn't the problem, it's the symptom. There is always a bigger problem underlying the infidelity and if there's anything good to come after the affair, it's knowing that there is a problem that you need to address.

The time when a relationship is at its weakest is also the best time to do the work that will bring it to being its strongest. There's an idea in the military that you need to tear a person down so that you can build them back up, strong than they ever were before, and this is true in relationships as well.

After the affair what your relationships needs is a complete overhaul. This isn't optional, because if you try to just go back to the way things were, then what you'll find is that history will just repeat itself. You need to start over and build things back up from the bottom. Tear it down to bring it back stronger than it was before.

The first thing you need to do is spend some time apart. This may seem counter intuitive since you're dealing with after the affair situation, when the urge might be to not let your partner out of your sight for a single second. But the time apart will allow you to see your relationship from a different angle, and this perspective will be important for the relationship repair process.

The next thing you need to do is to figure out exactly what the problem was, and the answer to this question is not 'they were sleeping with someone else'. You need to find the deep down problem that was behind the infidelity, and you need to do something about the problem.

After you've done those two things, it's time for you to start the relationship over. The key part is to do it from the beginning. Go on dates again. Start over just as if you were dating somebody else. You need to treat this as a new relationship because if you want to repair your relationship after the affair, then it has to be a new relationship. Learn to trust again. In many ways, this is the toughest thing to do after the affair. The trust has been broken, and it will be hard to get it back, but you need to be able to trust your partner again. No relationship has ever succeeded based on suspicion and paranoia.
Although you're being building a new relationship after the affair, you do need to keep in mind the problems that made all this necessary. The idea here isn't to have the same relationship you had before, the idea is to have a better one, and this means you need to avoid making the same mistakes.

Rebuilding a relationship after the affair will be hard, but it will also be one of the most worthwhile things you can. Remember, there is help available out there, and seeking it out one of the best things you can do for your relationship.

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Site "After The Affair Help". It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces.Infidelity is terrible, but every relationship can be repaired. You just need to be willing to find the advice and the help you need to repair your relationship.