Real Australia with a funny twist

April 1, 2011 - PRLog -- This is the real story of Australia’s beginning. It was actually discovered by Fred Browne.

He wasn’t impressed by the place so he asked the ship’s Cook to claim the honour. Years later, a certain Captain Phillip was in a pickle. He didn’t know where to find enough real estate for his many offspring. Fred Browne rescued him. They sailed to New South Wales and founded Sydney.

Turbulent times followed. Like the meeting with La Perouse who is a bit feminine – otherwise he would be called Le Perous. Or the roster system for temporary marriages, since there aren’t enough females in the country. Or the young man who swims across Sydney Harbour to meet his beloved (against the rules!) and dies from the effects of pollution.

They also made some further discoveries: like Norfolk Island, so called because neither animals nor folk would want to live there. Then Phillip leaves and Major Grose stages an army coup.

Fred is put under house arrest. The New South Wales Corps starts ruling in a dictatorial manner. They allow everybody to work as much as possible for nothing. But there are some people who don’t fall for the promises that are never kept. They set up a Singing Society, a disguise for a liberation front. A bomb attack is planned on Major Grose. It fails. But the Major is a psychological wreck. Luckily, England decides they are interested in New South Wales as a piece of real estate. Grose is disposed and Hunter takes over. And Fred Browne is popular once again.

I.M. Kidding wanted to be a writer already before he was born. But he soon lost his ambition when he realized that it would be a rotten life. He was more interested in having fun. In order to do so, he worked in factories, for the railways, as a waiter and a cleaner.

Finally he was allowed to spend his time in an office. In this blissful state the years rushed past him. Before he knew it, he was forced to retire. How to fill all those empty hours? He remembered his ambition as an embryo. He started putting a few words together.
And he realizes now that being a writer is really a rotten life.

'How Browne Was My Country' by I.M. Kidding ISBN: 978-1-921731-46-4 RRP $22.95 Fiction

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