The Pinky Swear-emony®—a Better-than-marriage Alternative for Many Couples
Wedding officiant, Sid Korpi, of Twin Cities-based Nonconformist Nuptials, adds Pinky Swear-emonies to her matrimonial/commitment/vow renewal ceremony services.
For a growing number of people, particularly those who have been married and divorced in their past, traditional marriage is something they don't wish to repeat. Particularly among older adults, ages 55–64, divorce rates have quadrupled in the past three decades; and the proportion of people who are marrying at all has been decreasing for decades (American Community Survey, reported in Psychology Today, Feb. 2, 2017).
"Before you assume I'm a jaded, cynical marriage hater," said Sid Korpi, "understand that I have been a professional wedding officiant through Nonconformist Nuptials since 2007, and I still consider it a joy and a privilege to join couples in matrimony in a way that honors their individuality and meets their unique needs. It is natural for people to seek love and companionship, but as we live longer lives, realistically speaking, the chances of our growing apart increases. I thought there should be another way to commit to one another."
"Having been twice divorced myself, once after 15 years and the next after 13, I know the legal hassles involved that only serve to make a painful breakup more adversarial and agonizing," she said. Conversely, fear of "losing one's shirt" in a divorce settlement can keep people stuck living unhappily ever after or permanently separated though still married. At age 55, Korpi knew she never wanted to be legally tied to anyone ever again. That's why when she and her significant other, Scott Metcalf (also twice divorced), decided to publicly commit to one another and cohabit her house, they chose to go the route of Domestic Partnership.
Domestic Partners, when registered with the city/state, are allotted rights similar to married couples. This may include being on each other's health insurance policy, having the ability to make medical decisions for one another and/or visit one another in the hospital when only family members might otherwise be allowed, inheriting as the legal next of kin in case of death, and so on.
"We decided to call our ceremony a Pinky Swear-emony®," she explained, referencing the solemn oath-making technique known to us all as children. Instead of wedding bands, Korpi and Metcalf had custom pinky rings made and exchanged them among an intimate gathering of close friends in their living room. "I wrote out our ceremony text on numbered index cards and had our guests take turns reading them aloud. This not only ensured that no one dozed off, it also emphasized to them how important they are to us as our community, our family of choice," Korpi said. "We're both very independent people who love best when we feel free, when we know every day we spend together is of our choosing and not a legal obligation."
A Pinky Swear-emony® is also a wonderful way to commemorate an important anniversary at which you wish to renew your vows. For those seeking either a one-of-a-kind wedding ceremony or a similarly unique Pinky Swear-emony®, contact Rev. Sid Korpi through her website: http://www.nonconformistnuptials.com.
Sid Korpi, Nonconformist Nuptials