Are You As Happy As You'd Like to Be?

NEW YORK - Dec. 13, 2016 - PRLog -- "Being happy doesn't have to be so hard," says Amy Bloch, M.D., but a lot of the time people make it difficult. Dr. Bloch has spent the past twenty years — ever since her daughter Emily was born with brain damage — unlearning the common mythology of happiness that blocks happiness for so many people. "Like a lot of people, I had a lot of unhelpful ideas that kept me from experiencing happiness. But Emily, who is the happiest person I know, has shown me another way."

Dr. Bloch, a psychiatrist, shares Emily's story and the lessons therein for anyone who wants to be happy at her website, Unlearned Happiness.

Dr. Bloch now incorporates happiness into her practice, and she explains how and why Emily's example has inspired her to do so in an article that will appear on Thrive Global, Arianna Huffington's new publication. Once her patients' medical conditions, if any, have been addressed – like clinical depression, an anxiety disorder, or substance use – Dr. Bloch focuses sessions on helping patients re-claim the natural, unlearned capacity for happiness we are all born with. Her goal is for patients to become "diagnosably happy," which raises the bar significantly from traditional psychiatric goals.

Dr. Bloch says she is still learning and emphasizes that the continuing journey has sometimes been painful in coming to terms with a new, unexpected direction for her family.

Everything changed for Dr. Bloch, personally and professionally, when she realized that Emily, even with her significant mental and physical challenges, was more capable than many people in being happy and joyful and creating happiness and joy.

"I realized that Emily lives without the limitations placed by learned and internalized expectations that get in the way of happiness for so many people," Dr. Bloch says. "Emily has a natural ability to go after happiness. Her instincts guide her to choose happiness and create happiness-making situations."

For example, when Emily realizes she has made a mistake, she happily exclaims, "I was wrong!" Mistakes for Emily are invitations to experience wonder. She clearly loves the opportunity to learn something new. What she hasn't learned is the message most of us absorb somewhere along the line: that mistakes reveal inadequacy or failure and that if they cannot be avoided they should at least be papered over. Guess which way is more conducive to experiencing happiness?

Another way Emily increases her own experience of happiness is to share in others' happiness. She does not approach happiness as a zero sum game, but operates under the assumption that when someone else is happy, that's just more happiness to go around — a happiness boost for her.

Dr. Bloch explains that Emily leads with her heart first — in a world where so many are sworn to a "brain first" mentality. "Emily shows us that we are — and that happiness is — so much more than our smarts."

"I started the website, and the other social media, to help spread the word about how our happiness is within our reach, even when times are very dark. Emily says things that have helped me remember how to be happy. A state we can all share." She smiles. "At first I thought only special-needs families would find this useful, and then I realized that we all strive towards happiness, we just need to take down the learned barriers and tap into our unlearned happiness."

"I aim to help others achieve happiness too — the same happiness Emily exemplifies, and the same happiness I've learned to find within myself. I want to dispel the myths that keep us from being happy, and show through Emily's example that our attitude, our actions, our choices, even the things we say, are all portals to reaching our happiness potential."

"That's why I created the Unlearned Happiness website and why I'm writing a book. I want everyone to be 'diagnosably happy'!"

Amy L. Bloch, M.D., has been practicing adolescent and child psychiatry for 23 years. After attending Dartmouth College, Yale Medical School, and Cornell Psychiatry residency and child fellowship, her life happened. She is married and a mother of four, the second of whom is Emily. The personal lessons she's learned from her handicapped daughter and her "typical" daughters and son have transformed her into a happier person and more effective psychiatrist.

You can join Dr. Bloch's website Unlearned Happiness, Twitter feed, and Facebook page, and receive updates on blog posts, ask questions in The Happiness Forum, and learn all about how to be happy — from a girl who can't tie her own shoes (and her psychiatrist mom).