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A Hilarious Send-Up of Donald Trump In All His Glory
Allow his divine majesty Donald J. Grump (get it?) to coach you through all the ins and outs of being a true "Big Deal" - just like him. Well, not exactly just like him. After all, no-one but the man himself can be THAT big of a Big Deal ...
Grump offers nuggets of the purest gold:
"I don't do it for the sake of getting money. I've got tons of it - more than you or anyone you've ever met combined. ... I don't do it to fill the soulless hole which is my heart, and blot out the knowledge I'd be nothing without the great head-start I got from my Father's wealth. I don't do it because my Father always made fun of my hair. ... No, I do it because I feed on it, thrive on it. THAT's why I'm a Big Deal."
"My father had a lot of advisers. I don't have a lot of advisers. When I want to consult, I speak to myself because I have a good brain - a very good brain. I know a lot of things, and I give good advice."
"There is no-one on the planet more modest than I am. Hey, I have to be. I've got so many accomplishments that if I went around blowing my own horn all the time I'd sound like a brass band. And I really hate brass bands."
"I've got so many female critics. But they're all losers. Just look at that Arianna Huffington. What a dog. No wonder her husband left her for another man. And Fox's Megyn Kelly. ... She's almost as dumb as that Rosie O'Donnell, though a lot hotter. Hell, let's face it. Mount Rushmore is hotter than Rosie."
"When somebody challenges you, fight back. Be brutal. ... They bomb Pearl Harbor? You round up every Jap on the West Coast and lock them in camps. They kill Custer and his troops at the Little Big Horn? You chase them down, put them on reservations, and give them blankets laced with smallpox ... They mess up a repair on your Rolls? You buy the building where they have their garage and drive (heh, heh) them out of business."
"I'll tell you, that guy Dickens never met a loser he didn't like. I mean it. Almost every Dickens hero is a jerk without a dime to his name. (Actually, I haven't read any of the books, but I've seen lots of the movies.) Frankly, Bob Cratchit ought to just suck it up."
"[It is important to clear] away the old to make way for the new. Kind of like when the Eskimos used to take their elderly parents and set them adrift into the ocean floating on a chunk of ice. I once had a dream that I'd done that with my Father. I remember waving as he drifted over the horizon. Funny the things you think of."
Grump gives you the benefit of insights into all the tricks of getting and maintaining Big Deal status, and includes anecdotes about many of his Big Deal friends such as Mike Tyson, Wayne Newton, Anna Nicole Smith, and even the great Stephen Baldwin.
Want to be a for-real Big Deal like these cultural giants? Count on Donald J. Grump to show you the way. You'll never find a better teacher, not anywhere. And you'll never read a book better than this one. Not ever.
Kindle Edition: $2.99
• Paperback: 74 pages
• Publisher: New Street Communications, LLC (June 11, 2016)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0692739041
• ISBN-13: 978-0692739044
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.2 x 9 inches
For more information go to: http://newstreetcommunications.com/