The Shame of Being Single on Valentines Day

How to get over being single on Valentines Day-- advise by psychologist Dr. Debbie, NYC's go-to doc for singles.
By: Dr. Debbie Magids
 
NEW YORK - Feb. 9, 2015 - PRLog -- Another year without a Valentine.   Your friends are finding love, getting married, having babies, buying houses, and you--- are not.

   If I have to go to one more celebration for someone else’s happiness…
   If I hear my parents say again, “So what was wrong with this one?”…
   If I am asked one more time about why someone like me is still single…

It hurts when anyone brings attention to your inexplicably single state, but what can you do about it?

“It’s perfectly okay to request that the people in your life stop pestering you.  Let them know that if you meet someone worth talking about, you’ll let them know!” says noted NYC psychologist Dr. Debbie (http://www.DrDebbie.com), an expert in singles’ intimacy and commitment issues.

But she also advises that you look inwards, to that nagging pain inside.  “That is your shame.  You created it by thinking that something is wrong with you, and that negativity is blocking you from love.”  The best way to debunk the shame, she says, is to embrace being single and fully live your life, so that you draw love to you, at the right time and with the right person.

How to Debunk the Shame and Embrace being Single

Do not force yourself to live the “single life.”   According to Dr. Debbie, the biggest mistake singles make is to create an entire lifestyle around the singles scene—summer shares, partying at clubs, singles events.  It can be exhausting, may not lead to anything, and it can turn you off completely to trying to meet someone.   Of course you should take advantage of good opportunities –- but it can’t be your entire lifestyle.

Do not put your life on hold.   Travel to Africa and go on a safari.   Take yourself out to dinner.  Go hiking or to the movies.   Whatever activity you think you need a sweetheart for, you don’t.   You can go anywhere, alone or with friends.   And if your friends aren’t interested, find a group that meets specifically for that activity.

Use your independence to discover and pursue your passions.  If you don’t know what activities excite you, commit to trying something new each week.   Doing what we like to do fulfills us.   And, when the time comes, you will bring more to a relationship because you will come to it whole, multi-dimensional and fully developed.

Have faith in timing.  There is a false timetable we’ve subscribed to—we must be married by the same age as our friends, before we’re 30, by the time we make partner in our firm.  It’s all a myth.  Love happens all the time—at every age, at every stage in life, as it should.  So get out of your own way and let life unfold.

This Valentine’s Day you are single, but if you look at your world a bit differently, you might be in the perfect emotional condition to meet the right someone – at the right time—by next Valentines!

Dr. Debbie is the “go to” psychologist in NYC for the single, thirty to forty-something crowd.  She is the author of All the Good Ones Aren’t Taken.  Visit her at http://www.DrDebbie.com.

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Source:Dr. Debbie Magids
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Tags:Valentines, Singles, Romance, Nyc, Advice
Industry:Entertainment, Lifestyle
Location:New York City - New York - United States
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