Not Getting Enough Love? Meeting Only Weirdos Online? Dr. Hedda Has Suggestions on

Dr. Hedda Has Answers to Vexing Romance Questions from "Confused" and "Home Office"
NEW YORK - July 29, 2013 - PRLog -- A woman married for 11 years who calls herself “Confused” complains that her sex life has dwindled to once a month “and then only if I push about it.” columnist Dr. Hedda Mae says Confused needs to have a heart-to-heart with her husband, pronto.

“Our lovemaking, when it does happen, it’s pretty good,” writes Confused. “Then I usually say something like ‘That was fun, lets do this more often,’ and he just smiles. It’s not changing and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life having sex a couple of times a year.”

Dr. Hedda, an Oregon-based psychotherapist who answers personal questions for, says the first thing Confused must do is sit down and talk with her husband about their sex life, or lack thereof. “What does he say? If his sexual appetite is normal and he’s not having sex with you, who is he having sex with?  Other men? Other women? His right hand? Something is obviously going on. Consider his health; if ED is his problem that’s easily fixed today by pills. Is it a more serious medical problem?  You have to decide what’s important to you. Is this the way you want to spend the rest of your married life? Start talking to him and make sure you stress the importance of a mutually agreed sex life. Make up your mind. Don’t wait five or ten more years.”

Another question to Dr. Hedda came recently from “Home Office,” a woman in her late twenties who works at home and joined two online dating services to meet men.

“Over that past year I have had about 20 dates,” writes Home Office. “All first dates only, no phone calls, no flowers. I’ve been meeting the strangest men I ever met. They come right out and discuss their sexual likes and dislikes. They want to know how I felt about threesomes and group sex and how I feel about leather. They were all so different than their profiles. Well dating services don’t work for me. What do I try next?”

Dr. Hedda suggests Home Office needs to review her own profile to see if she is presenting herself in a way that attracts this type of man. “I suggest you make a list of the ten most important qualities that your man has to have. Make sure each item on the list is inflexible. For example – no financially dependent children, or not paying alimony, or needs to be a college graduate. If you are asked out by a man that doesn’t meet your list say No. Don’t waste your time of the wrong men. On the positive side, you must be loveable, 20 men asked you out.”

Dr Hedda Mae is a psychotherapist based in Oregon. She has been in private practice in both the clinical and private sectors and has spent many years as a national lecturer on subjects such as family dynamics, childhood and adult personality disorders and multicultural psychiatry. welcomes questions from visitors; write

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