"Ticket on a Crippled Crab" (A Dark Comedy) Available for Free on Amazon for a Limited Time

Hitch a ride on the heels of an egotistical screwball with a criminal streak running down his spine, right next to the yellow one.
 
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Ticket on a Crippled Crab by Robert Kettering
Ticket on a Crippled Crab by Robert Kettering
Nov. 6, 2015 - PRLog -- Funny things happen when a scatterbrained young American named Mike goes to Paris to become rich and famous composing wise and wonderful aphorisms. Commercial success eludes him, yet he nevertheless enjoys an exciting lifestyle of Left Bank hijinks...until he meets and marries a strange Russian girl whose family makes its living by stealing from senile old people. As the story begins, Mike is living with his wife's family in a large apartment belonging to his wife's wealthy godmother. The family is bilking her. Furious at his ignoble domestic situation, and disappointed by the failure of his aphorisms business, Mike decides to murder the leader of the family, his wife’s diabolical aunt, in order to win the godmother's fortune for himself. He enlists the help of two friends: a highly competent but amoral Englishman and a crazy Italian-American painter. Elaborate schemes are hatched, all of which move Mike toward a new career, one less glamorous than originally envisioned but better suited to his talents.

Download your complimentary copy of Ticket on a Crippled Crab from Amazon by visiting http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VKPIBUU from November 6-10, 2015.

Sample

Funny when you find yourself in a spot like this, looking back over your whole life like a sailor in the crowʹs nest, over a vanishing wake, and nothing pleasing to look at. Just a lot of foam and fish heads, a corpse or two bobbing around, until thereʹs not even that and the darkness closes in and takes everything but the ass‐end of horizons. Finally it takes those too! I donʹt think I can stand much more.

About the Author
Robert Kettering divides his time between the U.S.A. and France. In the States, his time fragments among shopping malls, television stations and the humor website www.dearprofessorknowledge.com, whereas in France, life is simpler, usually apportioned more or less equally between the café on the corner and the one down the street. Over the years, he has hobnobbed with many famous literary figures, and enjoys dropping names and telling stories about these illustrious characters. Samuel Beckett, for example, was a drinking buddy of his for several months without Mr. Kettering being aware of Sam's full name, literary achievements or their mutual eminence. He did most of the talking and all of the bragging.

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