Painful Shyness is Children Delays Development and Causes Other Problems

DENVER - May 10, 2013 - PRLog -- Painful Shyness In Children and Adults

Avoidance or inhibition creates problems for the painfully shy and for those around them

Avoidance and inhibition include:

·       Canceling social events at the last moment

·       Avoiding situations that provide positive social interaction

·       Few or no friends

·       Avoidance of activities that are otherwise pleasurable

·       Passivity, pessimism and low self-esteem

·       Friends, family members, teachers, or mentors are concerned

·       Excessive computer use that is not social in nature, and is without face to face contact with others

Research shows that causes of avoidance, inhibition, distress can include:

Temperament or Biological Influences

·       Withdrawn, avoidant, excessively emotionally reactive

·       Highly sensitive, when lacking adequate social support

·       Poor emotional "fit" with family members or some environments

Stressful Life Events

·       Shaming experiences

·       Major moves from one school or city to another

·       Abrupt changes or disruptions in family life

Negative Family Interactions

·       Frequent parental criticism and shaming to enforce behavioral compliance, high parental control with little expressed warmth

·       Chaotic family interactions or neglect

Stressful Work or School Environments

·       Highly competitive, critical, or hostile environments

·       Public embarrassment for poor performance

·       Dominance behaviors rewarded, and bullying or teasing ignored or encouraged

How loved ones, friends and mentors can help

Maintain Appropriate Expectations

·       Maintain appropriate expectations while communicating empathy for the shy person's painful emotions.

·       Encourage them to tell you about their daily experiences and how they feel about them.

·       Acknowledge the conflict between needs to belong and fears of rejection.

·       Role play challenging situations with the shy person.

·       Help the shy individual set specific, manageable behavioral goals, and agreed upon reasonable means to attain them.

·       Help challenge the frequent negative thoughts about the self and others, and help them develop constructive alternatives.

·       Avoid negative labels and intense pressures for social performance.

·       Remember that shyness and social anxiety are common and universal experiences at all ages for most people.

A psychologist can help

·       Group therapy provides a place to explore, experiment, test pessimistic hypotheses about the self and social interaction, and develop adaptive interaction styles.

·       Successful therapy lowers barriers to action and increases appropriate risk taking and self-acceptance. Deliberate social "niche picking", or choosing situations that suit one's temperament, also increases.

·       Individual therapy provides a place to explore one's needs, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors without pressure from others.

·       Group and Individual therapy help clients develop more empathy for others and themselves by reducing negative selfthoughts, self-blame and shame while building positive perspectives and effective behavioral patterns.

·       Medication may help clients enter feared situations.

Prepared by:
Lynne Henderson, Ph.D., Philip Zimbardo, Ph.D., and Elaine Rodino, Ph.D.

Sponsored by/For more information:
Psychologists in Independent Practice, A Division of the American Psychological Association (APA) - www.division42.org

The Shyness Institute - www.shyness.com
©2001 Psychologists in Independent Practice, APA Division 42, and The Shyness Institute

American Psychological Association

http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/shyness.aspx