March 16, 2012
-- Planning your wedding is one of the most exciting times of your life. The natural impulse is to share the excitement with those closest to you—your bridesmaids. While your bridesmaids are genuinely thrilled for you, they may be feeling apprehensive about what being a bridesmaid will mean for them, and how it could change their relationship with you. They don’t want to burst your bubble, though—so we’ll tell you things your bridesmaids secretly wish they could.
1. Don’t forget us! When you have an exciting life change like an engagement, it feels as if you’re the only one to ever experience it. It’s hard not to think (and talk) about your wedding all the time. It’s great to share your plans! Just remember that the color of your cocktail napkins isn’t so critical to your friends that they’ll want to discuss it for your entire coffee date. Remember to ask your friends how they’re doing—and listen, really listen, to their answers—before launching into a lengthy discussion about the ushers’ boutonnieres.
2. We’re not models. Most women have been picking out their own clothes since about the fourth grade. The one exception? When they’re bridesmaids. Then, someone else gets to choose the color, style, and (yikes!) price of an outfit that they’ll wear very, very publicly. Pick a dress style that will flatter your bridesmaids’
body types. Consider allowing them to choose from a line of dresses, in the same color and general style, so they’ll have dresses they love and the coordinated look you want.
3. We’re not rich. Your wedding is costing you thousands—but it’s your wedding. Your bridesmaids could easily drop a thousand bucks on your wedding, too, between dresses, shoes, hair, nails, makeup, travel, gifts, and throwing you a shower and/or bachelorette party. Remember that although it’s your dream day, nothing breeds resentment among bridesmaids faster than having to shell out hundreds of dollars for something they may be struggling to afford, and about which they weren’t consulted. You can still have your dream wedding; just be mindful of your friends’ budgets, and consider (discreetly)
offering to help with expenses.
Remember: your wedding’s about celebrating relationships. A little attention paid to your bridesmaids now will help assure that the favor is returned, on your wedding day and for years to come.
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