Let Go Or Get Dragged

May 16, 2011 - PRLog -- MALIBU, CALIF.--It's not the major crises in life that do us in, it's the little things that manage to irritate, annoy and aggravate us, especially those that are in our face time and time again,  says relationship and career management expert Dr. Noelle Nelson, author of "The Power of Appreciation in Business" (MindLab Publishing).

   Nelson offers examples. You have to deal with your ex every week because you share custody with children you had together. Every time during drop off or pick up--you bristle since you can't stand the sight of your ex-mate. Or, your co-worker has this infuriating need to tell you what you “should” do at every turn.

   As understandable and as justifiable as your feelings of anger and distain may be, these feelings are hurting you more than helping you, says Nelson. "It feels good to rant about your horrible ex, or text your girlfriend the gory details about your co-worker's latest insults, but at the same time, you’re stressing your heart, your immune system, and you’re probably feeling pain in your gut as well," she explains. "That’s what negative emotion does to us. Study after study show that anger, aggravation and constant annoyance do bad things to our body and our mind."

   Suppressing your negative emotions will not help either. Nelson says the answer is to feel and release. "Feel your hurt/angry/resentful feelings powerfully for 5, 10, 20 minutes tops," says Nelson. "Confide them to a journal, scream them into your pillow, yell them full volume in your car with the windows rolled up--but then, let go. Be done with them."

   Nelson says, "Negative emotions will drag you into unhealthy place. They will disrupt the smooth regular beat of your heart, the full functioning of your immune system, your digestive system, the very way your brain functions," says Nelson. "Once you have used these 'letting go' technique, the next time you encounter that irritating person, it will be much easier to let the irritation roll right off you."

   Are there critical, mean people in this world? "Of course," says Nelson. "But, for the most part, they're not your problem. Remind yourself of the good things you’re doing for your well-being and be at peace with yourself. You’re much too valuable to get dragged into these individuals' muddled, negative world."

   For more relationship and career tips, go to Nelson's blog, http://anotefromdrnoelle.blogspot.com  or follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.

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Dr. Noelle Nelson, relationship expert and author of Your Man is Wonderful (Free Press, 2009). For more relationship tips, go to Dr. Nelson's blog, http://anotefromdrnoelle.blogspot.com, on Twitter or www.noellenelson.com.