Psychologist Dr. Susan Fletcher Reveals 5 Things a Marital Therapist Might Not Tell Will & Kate

With the Royal Wedding days away Will & Kate will be taking their relationship to a new level. There are many misconceptions about marital therapy. People often wait up 7 years to seek treatment & by then there is a lot of work to be done.
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April 26, 2011 - PRLog -- Here are 5 truths that marital therapists don’t always tell newlyweds.

1.  Always go to bed angry.  I believe it's a myth that you should always make up with your spouse before going to bed.  You are tired at bedtime and trying to settle a dispute when you are tired is futile.  Plus, sleep is a great stress reducer.  I say, "Go to bed - you're tired!"

2.  Fighting is a good sign.  One indication that couples are in trouble is when they aren't engaged or talking to each another.  Indifference to each other tells me a marriage is in big trouble.  At least couples who are fighting are interacting.  Couples who care enough to fight still care about each other.

3.  Communication isn't the most important thing.  Talking about your feelings and making "I" statements doesn't solve problems.  What's more important is the way couples respond to each other after an argument in order to build your relationship and make it stronger.

4.  Don't try to resolve issues.  Some issues just aren't resolvable.  For example, Easter and Passover were in April this year.  Fighting over different spiritual beliefs is not a resolvable issue.  Repairing your relationship should be the focus.   Acknowledge that your differences exist in a satisfactory way rather than trying to get your spouse to see your point of view at the expense of the relationship.

5.  Every marriage is saveable.  Both people have to be committed and it will be a lot of work.  But it's worth repeating that - every marriage is saveable.

Watch this video to learn more about these 5 truths:

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Susan Fletcher, Ph.D. is a practicing psychologist & speaker on Emotional Intelligence, productivity, performance & leadership development. She is the author of Working in the Smart Zone (2008) & Parenting in the Smart Zone (2005).
Source:Susan Fletcher, Ph.D.
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