Dietary Craze Killing Off The Rural Pub Trade in North East Wales
Dieting is killing the remaining pub trade in North East Wales, says the Licensed Independent Victuallers Association.
According to the Chairman, Arthur Peint, pubs slightly off the beaten track suffer the most.
"If people forgot about the dietary crazes and eating sticks of celery and rabbit food for their tea, we think they would be much happier" he said. "What could be more relaxing than enjoying a pint of smooth dark mild whilst eating home cooked chips and a medium rare steak in front of a wood fire?"
An independent study by LIVA has shown that the dietary gains are equally balanced by the damage dieters do to their mental state by giving up their small pleasures in life. Mr Peint thinks that this is why most dieters do yo yo diets instead of staying slim and happy forever after.
"Apart from a revolutionary lifestyle change called the Fatman Plan that involves drinking in the pub when you want to and eating whatever food you like, there are no other diets out there able to offer you personal happiness."
The damage done to the rural Welsh economy by dieting is estimated at between £4 million and £6 million per year.
For details of the Fatman plan please visit http://www.fatmansguidetonotbeingfat.blogspot.com
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The Licensed Independent Victuallers Association was established in 1644 by Oliver Cromwell returning victoriously from the Crusades in the Middle East where he had defeated the Boche and saved all of Christiandom from Prince John and Omar Sharif.