A Moral Test in the Darkest Times

Through the dark times of cancer treatment, this couple went against the advice of those around them concerning birth control.
 
July 30, 2010 - PRLog -- The following article, by Theresa Thomas, is from the May-June 2010 issue of “Family Foundations,” the publication of the Couple to Couple League International (CCL).

* * *

I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2005, just two weeks after the birth of my ninth baby and days after my youngest brother’s death in a car accident.

I stopped breastfeeding immediately as I needed many tests, including an MRI and CT scan, the latter of which required the ingestion of radioactive material. What’s more, chemotherapy was next to come. A mother simply couldn’t nurse with those toxins pumping through her body.

I immediately experienced breast engorgement, mastitis, then a severe yeast infection from antibiotics. I also felt relentless anguish over not being able to nourish and bond with this baby the way I had the other eight. I was exhausted from birth, tending to a newborn, and dealing with grief.

But the straw that broke the camel’s back when my husband and I were sitting in the oncologist’s office, my mind spinning with clinical trial options. The oncologist ended his discussion of my future by saying, “Now before we start, we need to get you on birth control because you absolutely must not get pregnant.”

A pregnancy, the doctor explained, would hamper my progress, my prognosis and the ultimate outcome, which was a nice way of saying that my life depended on it not happening.

“We practice natural family planning,” I offered weakly.

The doctor explained that chemotherapy would wreak havoc on my system. I had at least six months of rigorous treatment ahead of me. The symptoms of ovulation could not be relied upon, he said. Sometimes chemotherapy pushes a woman into early menopause. Other times her cycle simply becomes erratic. I couldn’t afford to make a mistake reading my fertility signs. I was told that if people used NFP during cancer treatment, they usually also used a “back up.”

It became clear: At one of the weakest points of my physical and emotional life, I was going to be morally challenged too. Would David and I choose to be fully Catholic and reject artificial birth control or choose to make an exception for ourselves?

Sitting beside the oncologist, we simultaneously but quietly vetoed his recommendation. I think he was surprised, but he was respectful. I suspect he thought we’d be back soon, requesting a prescription.

God will “understand”

Some Catholics counseled that our situation was “different.” They said, “You have a serious reason to avoid a pregnancy.” One medical professional even told me, “Priests can’t understand the pressures of married life. God will understand.”

I appreciated the genuine concern behind the words, but my heart told me I couldn’t follow something I knew not to be true. If artificial birth control was okay for me now, it would be okay for another exception and then another, and then, of course, for any one at all. We made the difficult choice: We would stay the course.

Being diagnosed with a life-threatening disease makes a person yearn for the love, reassurance and intimacy that the marital act provides. As I grew bloated from treatment, as my hair fell out, I felt ugly and depressed. How could David still love me? Stay with me? Would he change his mind?

I was tired, sick, crabby and sad. I felt I had nothing to offer David. I longed for the closeness we shared before this crisis. I was very tempted to throw in the towel, to go back on our decision.

In David’s mind though, it was settled. We would get through this cancer trial and all it entailed and look forward to a normal relationship again.

Several weeks into this routine, I contacted the Pope Paul VI Institute. With the help of a patient nurse, I learned the nuances of interpreting fertility signs in a situation such as mine. Ultimately, however, David and I decided we didn’t want to take any chances. “Six months will be over before you know it,” he told me.

I surrendered. We were both on board with complete abstinence. I cannot say it was smooth sailing from that moment on. I was tempted with thoughts of despair often.

One afternoon I stopped into the Adoration chapel and knelt in tears. I was just sitting there, helpless and doubtful, mentally repeating the plea, “Please help me.”

“You are not alone”

Suddenly I felt deep warmth within my soul. I felt Jesus saying directly to my heart, “You are not alone. I am with you.” Then I knew that not only was Jesus there with me during this ordeal, but He willingly took on the sufferings I was experiencing – from the needles in the arm, to the nausea, to the aloneness. He chose to suffer with me and for me. I also got the profound feeling that my suffering – indeed, all suffering – was an invitation to participate in the redemption of the cross. He was asking me to trust Him. I left the chapel in wonder and awe.

After six months and 12 grueling treatments, I was pronounced cancer free. Once I was given a clean slate, David took me to a spa in beautiful Rancho Mirage, Calif. He spoiled me, providing a mud bath and therapeutic lymphatic massage. We slept, swam and lounged and came home refreshed, our relationship renewed. Our life slowly resumed to a new normal, and now we look back on my cancer as just a blip on the screen. We’re happy we made the decision we did.

I believe God gave David and me that time for deep spiritual bonding, offering a chance to definitively choose Him, to grow in maturity and be strengthened through the myriad of ways that suffering does.

Today I look at Catholic couples who struggle with Church teaching on birth control and feel tempted to use artificial contraception. I encourage them: Be strong. Stay true to your faith. You can do this!

Make the right choice, even if it is difficult. God is with you each step of the way, more than you can understand. Trust Him. Blessings will follow.

* * *

Sign up for a membership at Couple to Couple League International at www.ccli.org, and receive “Family Foundations.”

Natural Family Planning Classes Taught

Classes in Natural Family Planning are taught in 17 locations in the Chicago metro area, including southeast Wisconsin and northeast Indiana. The next series of classes will begin Sunday, Aug. 8, 2010 at 1:30 pm at Holy Trinity Church in Westmont, taught by Chris & Debbie Lillig. The method taught is the Sympto-Thermal Method, and is also taught via CylePRO software.

To register, and for a list of classes throughout the U.S., go to CCL International at www.ccli.org, (800) 745-8252. Chicago area NFP information is at www.naturalfamilyplanningchicago.com.

# # #

The Couple to Couple League (CCL) is an international, Catholic, non-profit organization dedicated to teaching Natural Family Planning (NFP) to married and engaged couples. This news article is sponsored by the Chicago chapter of CCL International.
End
Source: » Follow
Email:***@comcast.net
Zip:60025
Tags:Natural, Family, Planning, Nfp, Couple, League, Ccl, Catholic, Cancer, Abstinence, Chemotherapy
Industry:Health, Family
Location:Chicago - Illinois - United States
Account Email Address Verified     Account Phone Number Verified     Disclaimer     Report Abuse
Couple to Couple League of Chicago PRs
Trending News
Most Viewed
Top Daily News



Like PRLog?
9K2K1K
Click to Share