The Art Of Listening; Master It And Grow

Shut Up And Listen For Once, Use Others Knowledge To Become More Whole
By: Self Awareness
 
Aug. 12, 2014 - PRLog -- Have you ever been talking to someone and they tell these long winded stories of successes or encounters they have had and everytime you try to say something that you feel is profound and may offer your perspective to the subject they cut you off as if you didn't say anything? I have dealt with that kind of person all my life. I call them bad listeners. Why is that statement important? Because it is that type of behavior that really turns people off and shows others that they are selfish. It is frustrating as well.  On the other hand, someone who listens, really listens will gain the respect and admiration they deserve and will go much further in life and relationships.

For instance. I was on a jobsite once and this guy who I've known for sometime was wanting to get on the crew. It was a redesign of an office space. He was very talented in construction but had a listening issue. He kept telling me these stories of past jobs and past bosses. The current boss was a devout Christian and very much against drugs and alcohol. Everytime I tried to tell him about the boss he would cut me off and go into a new story. He began to tell a story about how one of his previous crew always hooked him up with some weed and how they would smoke together on the jobsite after everyone went home. Little did we know that just beyond the other side of the half sheetrock wall was my boss. Upon hearing the story my friend was saying, he came around and asked him to leave the property. Luckily he did not hold it against me. You see when I was first hired, my boss told me how he likes to have a crew that beleives in God and does not partake in the sins of drugs and alcohol. I let him go on and on whether I agreed or not, I let him speak. I took that knowledge with me and stayed on the jobsite till it was complete. I really listened.

I feel that listening is way more important that speaking. I have gained so much insight on a person by listening and not interupting. I will knod my head but not say anything unless asked when someone is telling me something about themselves or something that happened to them. I never say "but" as that only negates what they have said. I'm sure you have met people who thrive on one-upping people. You will tell them something and they will cut you off an say "Oh that's nothing, one time I"... Not only is it something I would never do, it makes the person doing it look petty and insecure.

Try this excersise. Listen to a friend, spouse or collegue. Listen intently while looking them in the eyes. Knod is agreement and only comment if they say "You know what I mean"? etc. A simple yes will suffice. Once the conversation is over. rehash it in your mind. See if something they said can help you or help you understand that person better. People just want to be heard.

I went into an interview once and the guy interviewing me loved to hear himself talk, hear his own voice basically. So I listened. He told me stories of vacations he had been on, scuba diving and how much he loved the ocean. None of this had anything to do with job, still I listened. A hour went by and he had very few questions for me so I didn't say much. I noticed that as he spoke he he would constantly glance down at my resume as he continued. As it was a customer service job for a major airline, towards the end he asked me what I thought the strongest asset a customer service agent should have. Without batting an eye, I said, "Be a good listener". He then got quiet as he pondered my answer, then he said, "You've got the job".  You see, on my resume I listed scuba diving as one of my favorite hobbies. He saw that right away, which I'm sure is why he began to tell my of his love of diving and having that in common and not interupting him gave me an edge, so I got the job. I got the job over 50 applicants that day. It changed my life. I got to travel all over the world and see things I always dreamed of. That travel, shaped me as a writer and a person. It opened my eyes. I tell this story often and I'm very fond of the memory. It was a proud moment for me.

The next time you are engaging with someone, take a moment to ponder what they are saying. Listen and knod. If it is a sad story touch them on the shoulder to give them positive affirmation. Let them get it off their chest. They will become closer to you and have more respect for you than they ever had. It may even be subliminal. They may just be out one day with a friend and say, "You know I really like John, he is such a good person. They may not even know why they feel that way. It is because you listened.

Contact
Eric Stone
***@docksidetropicalcafe.com
3057430000
End
Source:Self Awareness
Email:***@docksidetropicalcafe.com Email Verified
Tags:Listening, Paying Attention, Detail, Relationships
Industry:Business, Human resources
Location:United States
Account Email Address Verified     Account Phone Number Verified     Disclaimer     Report Abuse
Dockside Tropical Cafe' News
Trending
Most Viewed
Daily News



Like PRLog?
9K2K1K
Click to Share