You have to realise that your ex may not see things quite the way that you do though. It is easy to get lost in a sea of our own emotions, thoughts and anger after a breakup. It is an emotional time. We go through in our head about how the breakup has had an impact on us personally and how we have been wronged by the other party. Rarely if ever do we stop and think about how the breakup might have affected our ex.
Don't beat yourself up about not seeing things from your ex's perspective. It is natural not to during this tough emotional time. However, if you want to get to the heart of why your ex refuses to see you, it is a necessary part of the process. That being said, it is time to get inside your ex's head for a minute - brace yourself!
Why Your Ex Won't Tell You Why They Don't Want To See You
Your ex is not forthcoming about the reasons why they refuse to see you or talk to you. You are met with a wall of silence and it can be very frustrating. The thing is, your ex will want to protect their feelings and self respect in the days and weeks after your split. They don't want to risk being hurt even more by being upfront and honest with you - it leaves them incredibly vulnerable. They may fear that you could laugh at them or make light of their reasons, this could cause them more pain.
They Don't Want To Be Hurt Any Further
Instead, from your ex's perspective, it seems so much easier to build up a brick wall of cold silence towards you. They don't necessarily do it to hurt you, but their main priority right now is to protect themselves. You have to understand that it will take time for your ex to open up and fix things between you. When they have so much to work through after the breakup, the last thing that they want to do is to get even more confused by having to see you all the time. You can't really expect it.
No matter who did the breaking up, this is a transition period and it takes a lot of getting used to. Your ex needs to work out where they go from here and how best to handle the situation. If you are around as a friend or anything else, it will only confuse them more and they will never be able to move on. This could be the reason why your ex refuses to see you right now, it is nothing personal.
They Might Be Angry With You And Want Revenge
If you were the one that decided to call a halt to your relationship then your ex could still be smarting from the sting of rejection. Did you really expect them to accept the end of your relationship maturely and jump into a platonic friendship with you immediately?
You may have tried your best to let them down gently and you are desperate to make it up to them, but it will take some time for your ex to forgive you and even think about being friends with you again. For the sake of both you and your ex you need to respect their desire for privacy and space during this difficult time. Hounding your ex to return your calls is unreasonable and everything shouldn't be on your terms, you need to take the other person into consideration too.
One of the things that your ex could be doing is to try to get their revenge on you after the break up. You hurt them so they are trying to hurt you the only way that they can. By being aloof and acting like they don't care, they are rejecting you, just like you rejected them.
The good news is that it means that your ex still has feelings for you if they resort to these mind games. Their pain and emotional trauma are at an all time high and they are not thinking straight. Their primary instinct is to hit out at the person that caused them pain and give them a taste of their own medicine. As horrible as it is to be on the receiving end of this anger, you should expect it and let it run its course.
Your Next Steps - Do You Want Your Ex Back?
If you want your ex to see you and talk to you again then you will have to understand all about contact and how and when to utilise it to encourage your ex to open up. The link below will help you get your ex to reach out to you again.
Break Up Mistakes That You Should Be Avoiding Like The Plague
There are more reasons why your ex is not talking to you that this article hasn't discussed. You have to look at your behaviour and how it can be construed by your ex. Some of the things that you are doing could be pushing them away for good. The link below explains what they are.
How To Win Your Ex Back - Powerful Strategies
If you want your ex back then you will need a proven strategy, you can't just wing it and expect success. Click the link below to find out what you should be doing with your ex right now to make them want and miss you.