Here are a number of them:
Supply goods and/or services to a business to assist its liquidation/
Employ a credit controller who will not talk on the telephone.
Have no idea who you are selling to.
Never ask for your account to be paid.
Never do credit checks on customers.
Never get paid in advance for the first order.
Employ a thief.
Have no terms of business and never seek to limit your liability. Or cut and paste random terms of business from anywhere to create something that means nothing but looks good.
Never have any insurance.
Obtain the impressive car and offices before you make a sale, after all you need to have somewhere for all those staff you employ.
Do not bother with quality control.
Never check what is supplied to you.
Rely upon your suppliers to send you product as they see fit and of a type/quantity that they see fit.
Do not comply with the letterhead and other requirements about setting out the limited company details.
Never tell anyone you have changed from being a sole trader/partnership into a limited company and never obtain a new cheque book or amend the bank account into the company name.
Pay in advance for the goods being supplied to you.
Do not have a shareholders/
Pay yourself before you pay any other person.
Allow your business colleagues to enjoy an expensive lifestyle while you work.
Never bother with contracts of employment and obligations/
You are super-human and will never get ill/die.
Disasters do not happen – electricity is always on as are the telephones, rivers stay where they are supposed to as do roofs in high winds.
As for advisers why have them when there is the internet.
Bury your head in the sand when anything happens – it is sure to go away given enough time.
You really could not make it up!
Hopefully no-one who is reading this adopts any of these business strategies.
These issues can in the main be easily resolved by simple planning and/or procedures to assist in dealing with customers including obtaining funds up front, a credit application form with space for referees details, identity cheques/obtaining a copy of the customer’s letterhead/copying the first cheque payment, terms of business and business planning and advice as matters evolve. Do not treat your advisers as strangers.
I can help with these matters and have done so in the past.
This tongue in cheek review of business practices was compiled by Mark Gardner who is based in Darlington and a commercial litigation, debt recovery and insolvency solicitor with Excello Law who has come across these practices (and others) over the last 27 years.
Mark can be contacted by telephone on 0785 261 6335 or by e-mail at email@example.com
The identities of the guilty have been preserved. If you are reading this you know who you are!
Execllo Law is the Corporate INTL Debt Recovery Firm in England 2014.
0785 261 6335
0785 261 6335