Fathers’ Actions Impact Children’s Development

WINNSBORO, Texas - June 3, 2013 - PRLog -- Study after study proves that there is no substitute for a father’s care for his children.

According to the US Census Bureau, 24 million children live in a home in which their biological father is absent. [1] Lack of a father translates into the following [2]:

1. Children are four times more likely to be poor.
2. Children born to single mothers show higher level of aggression than those whose mothers are married.
3. Infant mortality rates are 1.8 times higher for infants for unmarried mothers than married ones.
4. Children with a non-biological father figure are at higher risk of abuse and neglect.
5. Studies have shown that women whose parents separated between birth and 6 years old experienced twice the risk of early menstruation, more than four times the risk of early sexual intercourse and 2 ½ times higher risks of pregnancy when compared to women in intact families.
6. A study of father involvement in education showed that the less fathers read to their infants, the worse their toddler scored on a standard measure of expressive vocabulary at age two.

Licensed Professional Counselor Deborah Chelette-Wilson says, “For many children, experiences with their fathers (or the absence of those experiences) have taught them that men will lie, abandon, use, hurt, belittle and undermine. With these messages, it is no wonder that the men many women choose to marry behave in much the same way.”

Fathers impact their children’s lives in ways far beyond just bringing home money. Their active presence affects the biological, cognitive, and emotional development of their children. As the child’s brain develops, a father’s absence alters their social and personal intelligence, shaping the child’s beliefs and values, including their own self worth.

“Children need a great deal to grow them into compassionate, competent, capable, and interdependent humans. Both fathers and mothers need to understand that having children is truly a sacred trust. Too many children growing up without fathers will pass on a legacy of emotional and mental problems that have a far-reaching impact on society as a whole,” says Chelette-Wilson.

“Men need to recognize that they matter in their children’s lives. Children need their fathers’ love, care, and kind attention. As much as a mother can try, only a father can fill this need.”

Chelette-Wilson offers tips for fathers not living with their children full-time:

1. Be present - Schedule regular time with your child and show up. Consistent monthly visits are better than nothing.
2. Understand - Listen without getting upset, angry, reprimanding, or punishing.
3. Honor - Allow your child his or her own point of view, even if you disagree.
4. Respect - Give your child privacy, especially with regard to personal journals or drawings.
5. Encourage - Teach, support, and coach, rather than criticizing and blaming.
6. Invest – When with your child, pay attention to your child, rather than working, texting, or hanging out with friends.

Chelette-Wilson believes that human beings are created to be interdependent social creatures. We all need love, care, comfort and safety throughout our lives. “Our ability to navigate the choppy waters of life depends on a firm foundation of having these traits of reliability, understanding, honor, respect, encouragement, and investment modeled when we are children –our most vulnerable time.”

Children need to know from their fathers that they are loved for the unique beings they are, valuable enough to be given their time and worth protecting.

A life coach, parent coach, and family counselor, Deborah Chelette-Wilson is an expert in the field of human relations specializing in stress, trauma, attachment and relationships. Deborah has successfully worked with hundreds of women, children, families and professionals to replace fear and unhappiness with compassion and love.  For more information, visit http://www.deborahchelette-wilson.com or telephone (903) 365-2198


[1] http://www.fatherhood.org/media/consequences-of-father-absence-statistics
[2] http://psychcentral.com/lib/2012/daughters-need-fathers-too/