Embracing Fear: understanding why fear is our greatest ally

NEW YORK - April 16, 2013 - PRLog -- When we think of fear we usually associate this emotion with a negative feeling. Experiences that fear conjures up are ones of discomfort, uncertainty, annoyance and avoidance. We never think of fear as being a positive and essential feeling we need to have; an emotion that protects us, as human species, to survive. If asked when will we stop experiencing fear, the answer is simple, once we die. It is only then that this disconcerting emotion will not be needed.

Can you envision walking leisurely in the middle of busy highway without any fear present? It’s not hard to imagine what kind of consequences we would end up with if fear were not present to protect us.

Simply stated, fear’s purpose is to guard us from danger caused by potential injury or from a possible threat and the pain that will follow. That is why we are born with a fear gene.

Fear serves as a life guardian, sending an alarm signal, warning us to be careful when exposing ourselves to something new or unusual. It makes sure we don’t get injured and we remain safe.

Four Types of Fear and their warnings

Physiological Fear
Putting a hand on a hot stove will activate an instant, reflexive reaction to pull, at once, away from the heat. When somebody suddenly yells behind our back it triggers a startle response and in a split second we jump protectively away from the unexpected, dreaded sound. These fearful reactions are activated immediately and automatically as a preventive measure against the potential danger and pain that might befall us.

Physiological Fear is a positive fear with the function to shield us from any potential incoming danger or threat and the pain that may follow. The reaction is reflexive and safeguarding. There is no thinking involved, just a knee-jerk response to a possible threatening stimulus.  

Real Fear  
Real Fear’s purpose is to assess any situation we encounter so we can decide whether the situation is actually safe and we should act, retreat or stay put. It helps us to differentiate actual from intangible. It assists us in making a judgment based on present facts and spurs us to act.  In essence it helps us to form choices and make different types of decisions based on evidence. Real Fear is fact-oriented fear and, as well as Physiological Fear, its purpose is to protect us. Real Fear is also a positive fear.

Real Fear helps us to sift through a situation and see whether the fear we experiencing about the situation is warranted or not. By examining the facts, it allows us to check if the situation we are in is really hurtful or only perceived to be hurtful. Real Fear focuses on the facts before activating the warning signals that danger really exists.

Breaking up a bad relationship; activating ourselves to look for a new job; learning an additional skill in a time of corporate down-sizing; building up the courage to say “no” when not wanting to please someone; all are decisions based on Real Fear observations. Real Fear uses thinking processes to assess what we can do without getting into “trouble” and helps us understand if it is safe, or not, to make next move.

It is safety-oriented fear and an UPtitude promoter.

Exaggerated Fear
Exaggerated Fear overstates the gravity of the threat or danger that may befall us. It is a reactive and most frequently experienced fear. It is an emotional fear.

Exaggerated Fear usually gets triggered when we do something new and unfamiliar. An abrupt bosses’ stern request to get in his/her office in ten minutes activates a sudden rush of worrisome, doubting thoughts that something is not right. We start distressing ahead of time for potentially getting reprimanded. With trepidation, we bashfully enter the office expecting the worst to happen. Once there, to our surprise, he announces that he is going to give us a raise for our admirable performance, hence nullifying all our previously unsubstantiated, exaggerated trepidations of having performed poorly. These are just some signs revealing how Exaggerated Fear can affect our thinking, emotions and behaviors negatively.

Exaggerated Fear unveils itself by experiencing uncomfortable feelings, being uneasy about an outcome, doubting our beliefs, acting fidgety, swamped with negative chatter, afraid to make decisions, take action or commit.

Exaggerated Fear is a negative fear since it injects uncertainty, uneasiness and continual doubt in our capacity to correctly finalize an action. It lowers our self-esteem and our self-concept. With this fear we hold on to negative thinking, doubt our positive abilities, undervalue our worth, and don’t see ourselves as productive and capable individuals. Doubting ourselves is the continuous recipe with which exaggerated fear feeds us. It repeatedly injects timidity and lack of confidence in our achievements and undertakings.

Exaggerated Fear is a negative fear. It is an UPtitude killer and NEGAtude builder.

Imaginary Fear
Imaginary Fear is fear based on complete distortion of our perception and reality.  It is a pathological and severe fear, usually experienced by people with severe mental illness. Imaginary Fear manifests itself through visual and auditory hallucinations, delusions and paranoid ideations.  Imaginary Fear replays people’s fears of danger so vividly in their minds that it seems as if actually exist in reality. Assumptions become facts, and there is no questioning whether the experience of reality is true or imaginary.

Imaginary Fear exists only in person’s mind, and not in the outside world. It is a virtual fear, as when a person is engaged in a conversation to someone seating next to him/her while in reality the seat is empty and no one is there.

Imaginary Fear is a negative fear.

How to befriend our fears?
Real Fear and Exaggerated Fear are the two most common fears. While Real Fear promotes action based on factual data, Exaggerated Fear is reactive and acts upon assumed information. Even though one is positive and other is negative fear, they can both become our allies.

The first step of befriending our fears is in recognizing:
•    Is our fearful experience based on facts or assumptions
•    Do we have enough facts to form sound decision
•    If not sure about the outcome of the situation, we can lower the Exaggerated Fear assumptions by seeking additional information rather then giving in to the existing emotion

Temporary experience of Exaggerated Fear can also give us a positive outlook by:
•    Creating a sense of urgency
•    Giving us different perspective on the situation
•    Indicating what may be going on with other people involved

Learning and practicing how to lower Exaggerated Fears and bringing them down to Real Fear fact-finding process, is a key component to befriend our fears and make them our allies. Only then, we will be looking forward to learning from abundance of knowledge that fear, like no other emotion, can gift us with.