What is “EarthBreaker!”
Imagine “North by Northwest” meets “Spaceballs”
at a café for scones and they’re joined by the Monty Python clan as they trade double entendres with Austin Powers via Skype. Morph them all together and you’d have a movie filled with intrigue and suspense plaguing a group of space travelers (including a hapless hero and super-sexy heroine) being greatly pestered—threatened even—by their evil nemeses, whilst simmering in a stock of lots of low-brow, screwball humor. These are then all congealed together with groundbreaking performances, cutting-edge visual effects, ear-shattering sound design, mind-blowing storytelling, vomit-inducing stupidity, eye-rolling ridiculousness, funny-looking spaceships, fake starfields and cheesy laser guns.
What’s not to love?
The plot: Gary David Keast stars as Jeff Cranston, a high school music teacher who is accidentally teleported from Earth and becomes caught in the middle of an intergalactic conflict of epic proportions!
We’re not going to lie to you. No sick puppies will be rescued if you support us, it’s unlikely that we’ll cure any currently incurable diseases, and it’s doubtful we’ll discover the whereabouts of the lost Ark of the Covenant. That being said, we love animals, we are staunchly opposed to diseases of all kinds, and if we DO find the lost ark, when we open it, we won’t look at it, Marion. We’ll keep our eyes shut.
Our aim is to provide a couple hours’ diversion for moviegoers the world over—to let them, as the modern-day bard, Billy Joel, so aptly put it: “forget about life for a while.” Laughing their asses off quite likely will be a part of that experience as well and, getting back to those diseases we mentioned earlier, we all know that laughter is the best medicine.
What you will most certainly help accomplish with your donation is to give us a chance to let David kick Goliath’s backside once again, metaphorically speaking. Indie filmmakers are the proverbial little guy in this business, usually stuck making movies with whatever money they could amass from breaking into their own piggy banks, guilting their parents into paying them their retroactive allowances, and scrounging their couch cushions for spare change. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! Some fabulous stuff is created that way. But with “EarthBreaker!”
Whether it’s a comedy or drama, action or romance, making a movie is a costly endeavor. You’ve got cast and crew salaries. Camera, lighting and grip equipment. Set construction. Insurance. Legal fees. Computer hardware and software. Post-production services. Wardrobe. DVD/Blu-ray manufacturing. Festival submissions. Marketing materials. Location fees. It all adds up pretty quickly.
We need your help to make this film and get it seen by the viewing public. Our goal is to raise $200K, though we’ll resort to ramen noodles and paper clips if we have to. We’ll make this movie No Matter What—we’re too damned stubborn not to see this through. But wouldn’t you like to be able to scream at the top of your lungs as folks leave the theater, “That really funny movie you just saw? The one that made you laugh so hard you clutched your stomach in agony and slipped in a puddle of your own chortle-induced tears? You can thank me for that! I helped make it happen! You’re welcome!”
But, let’s face it, without adequate funding, this movie cannot reach its full potential. What’s more, even if it did turn out every bit as awesome as we believe it is destined to be but then we couldn’t afford to distribute it, chances are that neither you nor your friends would ever get to see it—and there would go your bragging rights! Every single contribution made to this site will bring us that much closer to getting “EarthBreaker!”
If we may be so bold, we’ll address a question you may be asking, and rightfully so: “Let’s say I help. How do I know you’re capable of making this movie, let alone finishing it?” We’re glad you asked. We the producers have successfully completed two feature films (“IceBreaker”
If you aren’t in a position to make a donation today, you can still help spread the word by Liking us on Facebook, sharing our posts, and inviting your friends to do the same: www.facebook.com/
If you’ve got that credit card in hand and you’re ready to jump onboard and make a donation, we are offering a variety of perks to thank you for your support, including: “EarthBreaker!”
Thank you in advance. As you can see we’re taking a deadly serious approach to a wildly tongue-in-cheek movie. We promise we won’t let you down.
Here's the lineup of our upcoming Promo Vids, the first of which is already online (see below):
Feb. 3, 2013: "Dash & Aurora Seek Cash Galora" (Starring Justen Overlander (http://www.facebook.com/
Feb. 10, 2013: "Meet the Filmmakers" (Starring Nick Evert (http://www.facebook.com/
Feb. 17, 2013: "Wratch & Klard Take Charge" (Starring Eric Lee and John Hedlund (http://www.facebook.com/
Feb. 24, 2013: "Jeff's Janky Fundraising Funk" (Starring Gary David Keast (http://www.facebook.com/
March 3, 2013: "Meet the Filmmakers Again" (Starring Nick Evert, Eric Lee and Chad Martin)
And here's our first video starring Daniel Sjerven (http://www.facebook.com/