Does desire prevent happiness?

Jan. 19, 2013 - PRLog -- CONTENTMENT

This week’s subject means many different things to many people, so it would seem prudent not to drift too far away from the dictionary definition, which is:

“Contented state, tranquil happiness, satisfied with what one has; being satisfied; as much as one desires.”

So basically that’s contentment – ‘to be happy with your lot!’ So how and why would I want to write a newsletter on this subject?

I know for example a huge amount of people collect postage stamps with a passion (philately). Then others choose to bungee jump off a bridge. So we have extremes of pleasure that can help in giving us happiness.

Being happy with your lot! This is rather a simple view of contentment, but nevertheless remarkably accurate.

At any moment during the day when you are happy and content, would that balance be altered if I took something away from you? Yes! Of course it would. Would you be happy if I gave you something? “It depends what it is,” I hear you say.

So let’s be clear. Taking away is a no no! Adding to contentment is a possibility.

Instead of adding something material, like a rum and coke on the rocks on a hot summer’s day, I offered an emotion to add to your contented state that was supercharged with eagerness, activity and the need to make important decisions. Would you like to add that? “Sounds too much like hard work,” you say.

Too many DESIRES can prevent contentment ever arriving. Desire is supercharged with eagerness, activity and the need to make important decisions. So it would seem to follow that too many desires are not conducive to being content.

As much as I have applied reason to question the validity of the next few sentences they do appear to a have a quality of wisdom. Please judge for yourself and ask whether the root of unhappiness is based upon them.

DOES DESIRE PREVENT HAPPINESS?

“There is a fine line between a desire and a dream. Both can bring you happiness, but only desire will bring you unhappiness. Desire can be a very temporary form of happiness, but as soon as you realise you have further desires, you drop back into lethargy and sadness.”

Let me just clarify ‘desire,’ “A Feeling that one would get pleasure or satisfaction from by obtaining or possessing something.”

What I shall try and resolve this week is this question, “Why, when we can understand how to be happy, do we not be in that state all of the time? And, why sometimes we choose to sulk, resist or wallow in unhappiness?”

Imagine a calm sea, full of shallow peaks and troughs; a sure example of the ebb and flow of a contented state of mind. Now imagine a stormy sea, high crests and low troughs! A good analogy of how some people choose to operate their life. Yet very few moments of contentment are achieved, and, when they do experience this moment it is only temporary.

Now relate that to desire! Desire is both the crest and the trough. Desire for example is when you allocate money for a new car, the world looks fine and rosy; this is your crest. Then, the kitchen ceiling caves in because of a leak in the bathroom and the allocated funds for the new car have gone; this is the trough. Your desire to spend the money on a car has made the trough deeper than ever.

For those people who have experienced many changes in their life, will know only too well of desire and how it can transform your every day. We choose to handle these situations in our own way. Unless you are permanently content, it is this ‘own way’ that needs to be reviewed.

I am a firm believer that ‘whatever happens in life, happens for a reason!’ Whilst this has not necessarily any truth within its roots, although considered as true in a spiritual context, allows us to look at practically every event with a positive intention.

If my kitchen ceiling fell down and it prevented me from buying that new car, I would allow a few moments for ‘little me’ to wallow in my own sadness, then move on. In effect my calm sea, would splash with anticipation of a storm, then settle once again into a tranquil mill-pond.

QUOTE: “He that cannot reason is a fool. He that will not is a bigot. He that dare not is a SLAVE.” (Andrew Carnegie).

If you find yourself in a turbulent sea and can’t find a way out, you are probably confining yourself to a pessimistic viewpoint. The high waves and deep troughs should be a trigger to introduce some optimism.

Sadness is often a result of being pessimistic, whereas optimism can lead to contentment. Here is an idea! If you could develop more optimistic intentions within your life, pessimism would be defeated, sadness ousted and the future would look bright.

QUOTE: “Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.” (John Stenbeck).

QUOTE: “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.” (Eleanor Roosevelt).

So it appears that to enjoy contentment more frequently you need to look seriously at your desires. You may desire a new car or to fit twenty tasks into one single day; either way if it doesn’t happen you can get annoyed which leads to sadness.

To eliminate desire completely out of your life is an immense task. You need to be on a serious spiritual path. So to eliminate it is out of the question. The very best we can hope for in the short term is to lessen its effect. If you can see how damaging desire can be in your day-to-day life, you’ll want to review your affection for it!

The next time you make a purchase, ask, “Is this a desire or a need?”

Eighty percent of the problems that prevent contentment will be desire related. You will have wanted something to happen just how you wanted; and it didn’t. The original desire had good intentions, but the end result will be the complete opposite.

When I look at my children, I realise that money isn’t everything. I don’t need money to be content. When I see my two girls, I am a millionaire, not of money but of cherished experiences.

To resist the urge that desire impresses upon you, change the VALUE. The see a sunset is f.r.e.e. To smell the spring blossom is f.r.e.e. To see your children play is f.r.e.e. The VALUE is priceless. Compare the value of anything you buy to - ‘priceless yet free.’ If it comes anywhere close – you may need it, otherwise it is just desire!

CONTENTMENT! You must NOT strive to get there. You have it already. Instead of trying to achieve a content state of mind, let go! Trying implies ‘work to be done.’ ‘Letting go,’ is simply exercising your tools of watching. Let go of desire, it feeds the wrong emotion!
by Wisdom-and-Philosophy.com
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