Three Tips for Creating Peace Through Forgiveness

Carolyn CJ Jones offers three tips to finding forgiveness from resentment and bitterness, so that you can experience peace-of-mind. She speaks from the perspective of one who discovered forgiveness after 38 years of her own resentment.
 
Oct. 16, 2012 - PRLog -- (Novato, CA)… The problem today is that people are not at peace with themselves or those around them because they harbor grudges and resentments against others. Their resentments result in a state of un-forgiveness. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) states that there were at least 11.8 million substance abusers in the U.S in 2011.  In recovery circles, it is a well-known and documented fact that the primary reason for substance abuse is resentment.

Therefore, it stands to reason that there are close to 11.8 million people in the U.S. who are resentful and in that state of un-forgiveness. When people do not forgive, researchers, psychologists, and physicians have discovered it may lead to heart disease, heart attack, and cancer, not to mention the depression and anxiety that occur when one does not forgive.

Carolyn CJ Jones is one substance abuser who struggled with, and triumphed over, her excess drinking which she attributes to resentment and bitterness. After several years of sobriety, she discovered forgiveness and from that, found peace. “I never thought this could happen. My heart bursts with joy!” Carolyn exclaims.

As an expert in forgiveness, Carolyn gives three tips for opening the gates of the heart:

1) Humbly look at yourself and your actions to determine if you contributed negatively to a situation that has resulted in your grudge against another. If you did, consider that the other person reacted in a predictable fashion. Own your behavior; drop the grudge. Apologize, if needed.

2) If you did not contribute negatively to a situation and can still say you were wronged, feel that wound, feel how devastating the event was. Grieve the loss from it. Now consider looking 180 degrees, with new eyes. Choose a life of peace rather than one filled with resentments and bitterness. To do that, hold yourself in compassion for being a wounded person. Before going on to the next step, allow yourself to feel that compassion for as long as you need, until you feel comforted. Try not to cross the line from compassion to self-pity. Compassion is open and expansive, while self-pity is closed and contracted.

3) Finally, consider that the other person was, in fact, wounded themselves and was demonstrating the humanness of a person in emotional pain. Offer them compassion for their pain, the same as you would offer compassion to any wounded person. Keep repeating this process of looking at this person with new eyes until the resentment begins to lessen. Notice when you reach forgiveness.

Carolyn CJ Jones is an award-winning author and a national speaker whose message of hope guides you to make peace with your life. Six years ago, she discovered a process that led her from 38 years of great anger, resentment, and bitterness to forgiveness. Her passion is to help others find relief from their resentments, too. The process she discovered is outlined in her nationally acclaimed book, "Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing."

To honor National Forgiveness Day and to further your ability to find forgiveness and peace, Carolyn will present the workshop "The War is Over… End the Fight."  This workshop will be held on Saturday, October 27th, from 1:30 to 5:30 pm, at the Town Center Shopping Center in Corte Madera, CA 94925, Suite 201, which is located above Barnes and Noble Bookstore. To access Suite 201, go up the stairway to the south of B&N. To register for the event, go to www.findforgiveness.eventbrite.com or call 415-883-8325.  

For more information about Carolyn, her services, and her products, please visit www.carolyncjjones.com.
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