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Follow on Google News | Author Openly Reveals the Secret from His Book: Emotional IQDr. Conway knows the secret to genius level Emotional Intelligence. It's in his book, his audio programs and his live seminars. Yet, he openly reveals his secret here: Emotions are a Language. Learn the basics of the language, and you're a genius!
Let’s get there right now: Emotions are a Language. The Language of Emotions Negative, painful emotions mean “Something Must Change.” We call those Emotions of Change. Positive, pleasurable emotions mean “Do That Again!” We call those Emotions of Duplication. Anyone who works with people knows that emotions sometimes get out of hand. The way those emotions are handled can make things worse, make things better, or give you the chance to be a hero. Knowing the Language of Emotions lets you mastermind with every customer with a compliant. It allows you to “talk about your emotions” even if you have no idea how to talk about your emotions. You can talk to someone about their emotions even if they don’t know how they feel. Launching immediately into some key Emotions of Change, let’s look at Anger, Fear, Hopelessness, and Guilt. Each means “Something Must Change.” Each demands a different kind of change. Anger and the Self-Protection Reaction The basic meaning of Anger is “broken rule.” It means you have a “must” or “must not” rule that someone broke. It is something you do not accept. Each Emotion of Change comes with a Self-Protection Reaction (SPR). This is an instant reaction intended to protect you. It’s a lot like the way your hand jerks away from a hot stove when you touch it. Your hand moves much farther than it needs to – just in case. Emotions do the same. Anger’s SPR is to impose rule by force. The reaction might be to do it with physical force (a shove, throwing something or even hitting), emotional force (yelling, threatening, accusing), manipulation, or guilt. The first thing you should do it consider your exact rule and whether or not it was actually broken. You may find that you have a poor rule. If so, you need to change it. Fortunately, there are techniques to do that. Sometimes, simply awareness that you’re reacting to a rule that should be changed is enough for you to get control of yourself and apologize after you’ve calmed down. If you have a good rule, then you need to communicate effectively. Often, the “impose rule by force” techniques we so naturally use do not create willing compliance. It creates fearful compliance. Better is to gain cooperation with effective communication strategies such as Understand, Define, Be Understood and Emotional Word Pictures. Fear The basic meaning of Fear is “something’ Courage is one solution. Courage mean “I feel fear; I’m going anyway.” Better is to deal effectively with the Fear. Start by looking at what you feel is coming. Is it? If it is, are you ready? If so, then Courage is the solution. Once you realize your really are ready, though, the Fear may disappear. If you’re not ready, you can get ready! Hopelessness Hopelessness is a very specific emotion. It means “exactly what I’m doing, exactly the way I’m doing it, will never achieve the outcome I desire.” The SPR is to give up. The simple solution is fairly easy: Change strategy. Do something different that makes sense until something starts to work. If you find you run out of options or your options become too risky or costly, you might choose to let go of your intended outcome. If Hopelessness gets out of control, it can easily become Depression. Depression mean “no matter what I do, no matter how I do it, will ever achieve any outcome I desire.” If we can resolve each incident of Hopelessness as it arises, we can nearly always avoid Depression. Guilt Guilt means “violated principle.” When we violate one of our own highest standards, an act that challenges our sense of identity, we feel Guilt. The Self-Protection Reaction to Guilt is “self-punishment.” There are several possibilities with Guilt. One is that we may need to change our principle. If so, the techniques of Rule Changing apply here, too. Perhaps we need to change our behavior. Once we change our behavior so we can realistically avoid the offending behavior, then the Guilt no longer serves us. We can do this using a technique called The Point of No Return. A Guilt Trip occurs when someone attempts to convince you that you have violated a high principle. They attempt to challenge your identity as a good person of some sort. To deflect Guilt Trips, you must consider the principle you’re accused of violating and whether it ought to be a principle by which your life ought to be lived. More and More There is more to know, of course. Mere mention has been made of several relevant techniques that are far beyond the scope of one short article. There is more depth as well. Learn the Language of Emotions to develop emotional genius in dramatically more detail in the audio programs Language of Emotions 101a and 101b, or in the book Emotional IQ. Find Dr. Conway's Book Here: US: http://www.amazon.com/ UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/ All of Conway’s Books: http://www.amazon.com/ Find Dr. Conway's audio program here: FREE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ASSESSMENT http://scotconway.com/ End
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