[NOTE: If you're lucky enough to see this by 10/15/12, Conway's book will be free on Amazon.com during that time. Links appear at the bottom of the page.]
An Emotion of Change, according to Conway, is a negative emotion. They all include the same meaning, "something must change." They include emotions such as anger, fear, hopelessless, doubt, loneliness, overwhelm and hurt. There are certain times when we simply cannot afford to have these feelings dominate our thoughts. We have an important meeting, a job interview, a client meeting, or a job to do. We have to focus. We need confidence. We need courage. We need certainty. And we need it now.
Instant State Change is the single most common “emotional mastery” technique taught. It is a fundamental technique in NLP (neural-linguistic programming)
It is common and popular precisely because it works. Used fully and completely, it provides real emotional state change. Great actors use it extensively to manifest real emotion for the roles they play. We can all tell when an actor is just pretending to an emotion. Using Instant State Change, a great actor really feels the emotion his character is supposed to feel. When you consider movie and television actors who may have to summon real emotion for take after take after take, this is particularly impressive. It’s also why playing intense characters can be so exhausting for actors. They really feel the emotion!
Conway warns, "As powerful as is this technique, it is also dangerous. Used improperly, it can ruin your life. The fundamental insight of the Language of Emotions is that Emotions Mean Things. Negative emotions are Emotions of Change. They say “Something Must Change!” If you ignore that message long enough, you can literally ruin your life. You can live in denial of the content of important messages! If you get really, really good at Instant State Change and rely upon it too much, you can miss the messages entirely!
So I’ll quickly teach you the basics of the technique, and we’ll get back to the solution to the problem Instant State Change creates."
How to Do Instant State Change
Choose your emotion, and we'll create it. It’s not “pretend,”
The simple version is a combination of physical technique and mental technique. The physical is the most powerful because it is easiest to monitor and control.
Adopt the posture, facial expression and gestures of the emotion you desire. Fully express the intended emotion. Say what you would say, and do what you would do if you genuinely felt the emotion. As a sort of default test, let’s take a generic “feeling good” sort of happiness.
Stand up. Take a deep breath and stretch your lungs a bit. Lift your chest. Open your arms, palms forward, and stretch them back as far as you can do it comfortably. Then let then down, keeping your shoulders back. Look upward. Put a silly grin on your face, laugh, or giggle for no reason. With that big, silly grin on your face, take a deep breath and let out a contented sigh. It should sound like a relaxed, contented “ahhhh…..”
Put a bit of a sparkle in your eye. Some people do this with a wink or with a hint of batting your eyelashes. Take another deep breath and imagine energy filling your body. Keep looking up, and gesture like you have more energy. Say “yes!” or nod knowingly like you’re really having a good time. Say out loud “I feel GREAT!” and move your body like you really mean it.
Chances are pretty close to 100% that you’re already feeling the difference. Maybe you feel GREAT already! Maybe you just feel “better.” At least 9 in 10 people already feel pretty good … and we’re not done!
The mental side is next. You need to focus your attention on the facts that support your intended emotion. You need to self-talk, actively think, and make the mental pictures that support your intended emotion. All this can be tough. However, if you hold the physical side for at least 60 seconds, the mental usually becomes much easier.
Once you’ve got it, keep it up for one minute. In a single minute, your biochemistry starts to catch up with your behavior. When you get good at it, the change can become almost instant! You can create and maintain the emotion of your choosing for a while. With practice, you can do it for hours at a time.
Always Remember The Language
Remember I said use of Instant State Change alone might be dangerous? It is because Emotions are a Language. The Language of Emotions tells us that the emotion we’re changing means something. We need to revisit that meaning.
If we were angry before we used Instant State Change, there is still the issue of a broken rule to deal with. If the emotion was Fear, then we need to consider what’s coming and whether there is anything we ought to be doing to get ready. Hopelessness should prompt us to make a change, and if we use Instant State Change to get out of the feeling, the fact that some change is required remains.
Emotions of Change say “Something Must Change!” Whatever it is, we must go back and take a look. The more fluent you are in the Language of Emotions, the more effective you can be here. Taking your Emotional Intelligence up to Genius level with the Language of Emotions is a powerful and very necessary tool if you use Instant State Change regularly!
If you do not know what needs to be changed, or even forget that things need changing, imagine what that can do. It’s like having warning lights lighting up on your dashboard. Imagine that rather than have someone look at your car, you just put black tape over the light to ignore it. In time, you will break your car. If you’re lucky, you’ve only been ignoring a light that tells you a sensor is out or you’re low on gasoline.
You can ignore some of those problems or figure them out easily enough when they happen. Or it could be more serious. It could ruin your life – and leave you wondering “What happened? Everything was going so well!” The Language of Emotions rescues you on this!
More and More
There is more to know, of course. Mere mention has been made of several relevant techniques that are far beyond the scope of one short article. There is more depth as well. Learn the Language of Emotions to develop emotional genius in dramatically more detail in Dr. Conway's book, Emotional IQ, or his audio programs Language of Emotions 101a and 101b, or in the book Emotional IQ.
Emotional IQ from Amazon.
All of Conway’s Books: http://www.amazon.com/