A lot of us have a mental or physical checklist of things to achieve before we turn 30. Amongst other things we imagine we’ll have our life pretty much sorted by then; we’ll be married with 2.5 kids, living in a house with a white picket fence, forging ahead with a successful career, with a couple of cars and maybe a holiday home abroad…
But anxiety and depression are at an all-time high as men and women approaching the big 3 0 realize their dreams are way further than they’d hoped.
With the average first time buyer being 35+, a lot of young people are finding it near impossible to get a mortgage. There’s the worry of redundancy, less job promotion, pay cuts… never mind the difficulty of finding love and building a relationship whilst still living with the parents in an effort to save up for the future.
The reality is that times are tough. So, why are so many men and women putting themselves under unnecessary extra pressure by holding onto unrealistic expectations?
If you identify with this, if you’re feeling anxious or down on yourself, follow this advice, stop stressing and start living:
DON’T GO COMPARE
If comparing yourself and your life to other people’s makes you feel like a failure, stop the nonsense! They are not you and you are not them, so really all you can do is do the best you can with the circumstances you’ve been dealt. Focus on what’s worth focusing, which is becoming a better person and being happy now, as opposed to later.
CHUCK YOUR CHECKLIST
An unrealistic checklist will only lead you to hopelessness, sleepless nights, and therapy. Why let a list of things make you feel bad? So chuck it and make up a new more achievable and exciting one that makes you feel better about yourself and things. People achieve things at different rates, and you can’t rush happiness.
WISDOM MAKES PERFECT
Quit wondering why you haven’t met prince or princess charming yet, and putting yourself on the shelf by thinking there is something wrong with you and that you might never meet mister or miss right. Instead, realize that when we are in our 30s, thanks to life experience and wisdom, we tend to make better choices and therefore are more likely to meet a partner we can have a lasting relationship with.
BRICKS DON’T MAKE A HOME
In some parts of Europe people are still very much focused on owning property, while in countries like Germany it’s very common to rent. But if you are intent on saving up to buy your own property, in the meantime focus on the positives of renting, like being able to move around to different locations, and having your landlord fix things! And remember, you can buy a house, but not a home.
CAREER YOUR OVERHAUL
So many people end up in a career they didn’t really plan. If you are one of those people who dread going to work in the morning or leave work in tears most days, but fear it’s too late to change careers, it’s not! It’s never too late to reinvent yourself. Think about your natural talents, the professional skills you’ve acquired overtime, and the hobbies or interests that make you tick, and how you can turn this into something you’d love to do every day and get paid for.
Anna Aparicio is a Confidence Coach at http://www.delite.ie