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A dire lesson for a better march—leaned on the wrong wall—amused myself with the hard ball—who hurts himself playing the boss.
Some I cared about but didn’t go for the kill—just was gone with the thrill. As I rise above the self-inflicted pain to heal—I allow this chapter now to seal.
Seasons pass, and safe I feel—forgetting that once I was torn asunder—and his hello in the distance sounds tender and sweet—longing to love but not to hurt—yet, the fierceness is one with its thunder! Regret at hand, I invite him in—much too fast, I do not learn—in matters of heart, I’m the fool— but I must appear if I’m to face this duel!
As I invite the walls of indifference to hound my soul— I prepare my heart for its fall— cheating my spirit with a dream—with a memory to come and a bit seem—a promise of joy—a breath of life—wasn’
But again, who manipulated whom? Wasn’t it I who gave the bait? Didn’t I play lean to change the rules? And wasn’t it I who chose him? And what did he choose? A season of winter—when he is a spring to bloom! Convincing him that fires are splendid when we’re frozen—when he had suns by the dozen! The first act in my masquerade is what I’ve chosen? An agitated world of make believe! Now, I grasp who lied to whom!
The memories of love I’ve obtained—but sadly, no, I haven’t gained!
As I enticed him to love my cover—the jocund inspired by a magazine—to be the one—that perfect dame, yes, I’ve played my Oscar piece—is this my choice of whom to be? But how true could be my trance—if I do not wake in joy and peace? Presently, yes, I can see—I constructed a wave of plain distraction, but all of this is a run-away’s claim—to take the high road’s noble action— now, lead me heart to my pure intentions!
I must challenge me more—as loving my soul is my grand stand— for I care for their hearts and deny my own—from which soul am I taking this loan? I’m much obliged to break my chains—to walk from my darkness to my dawn. In embracing myself, I’ll find my freedom—that’
As I revise it all, my traces do rave and yield, and make me wonder: while I am digging far so deep, am I digging my own tomb? Standing on the edge— looking in at my grave—immersing stiffly in my wait—how can I think to start again? Or am I purely in my womb?
Ever since, I deprecated my gifts to ease the envious insecure—my magic within has banned its powers—and life started to taste as sour, then my vision has lost its ways!
I must embrace my days and their blissful change—as my infinite commitment must be me to me—and this promise starts this very hour. From now on, I’ll fly my heights—above the clouds—or simply just walk alone—till I hear my silence clearly loud—and with my essence caress the heavens— and while I’m there its every flower.
So I question now, how can I reach my pure love’s treat? Through my self-love, maybe! Through the divine and the vast skies, and through the depth of a constant sea!
Was it all worth it, I do wonder? Damn right, I do say— but inside me, I do know—it is time for my soul’s retreat!
In facing my terrors and all my thoughts—I portend to wake in the arms of life—to tango with beautiful dreams. So, enough, my mind, let’s not cheat! My first love will be myself—so forgive me, my heart, for having loved—but not enough thee? Grateful, I am, yes, my soul— for your adoration that is way beyond me!
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