Importance of Positive Self-Talk For Children with Disabilities

What is self-talk and how can it help children with special needs? Learn more about what inner dialogues are, the benefits of self talk and ways parents can encourage positive self-talk for their children with disabilities.
By: Macy Kaiser
 
Feb. 2, 2012 - PRLog -- Self-talk is the endless stream of thoughts that take place inside of our heads.  The fact is we talk to ourselves all the time.  According to Jurgen Ruesch and Gregory Bateson authors of, “Communication: The Social Matrix of Psychiatry,” we engage in something they call intrapersonal communication all the time.  It can take many forms such as day-dreaming, speaking out loud, and internal monologues that take place when we are both conscious and semi-conscious.  

Brian Scott, a clinical psychologist and contributor to the website Psychology Matters adds,   “A simple way of defining self-talk is that it is talking silently to oneself.”   Scott goes on to assert that, “There is convincing evidence that self-talk plays an important role in a variety of human mental functions.”  Perhaps the most important way self-talk can help children with special needs is in the formulation and attainment of goals.  The Mayo Clinic asserts that, “These automatic thoughts can be positive or negative.  Some of your self-talk comes from logic and reason.  Other self-talk arise from misconceptions that you create …”

Researchers and psychologists agree that in the process of talking to ourselves, whether those comments are positive or negative, human beings have a tendency to absorb inner dialogues and act accordingly.  These inner thoughts have a way of affecting a person’s outer life and what he believes he can or cannot do.  This is an important component to a child with special needs.  

So what can parents do to help their child develop a healthy, positive and beneficial stream of self-talk? Here are some suggestions:

1.   Give your children positive words, statements and stories about themselves for them to digest.  Self-talk, especially for young children, is often a mirror of what they hear from their parents.  If they hear you telling them they are smart, capable, resourceful, etc., they will take it in.  Be careful to be honest and not grandiose with your comments.  Kids come equipped with an innate truth monitor.  The rule of thumb might be if you think something positive about your child, share it with them verbally.  

2.   Help your children monitor their self-talk.  Some ways to do this is by giving kids a personal journal ; a place to write or draw their thoughts.  Ask your child what he is thinking about.  Another wonderful way to test your children’s self-talk is to probe them gently before bedtime when they are relaxed and open to sharing their thoughts.

3.   Teach your child to pivot negative thoughts by reframing them into positive.  When your children shares with you what you feel is a critical comment like, “I am no good at …,” or are in any way negative about themselves, refuse to buy into that outlook.  Challenge their belief by asserting how you see them in a different more positive way.  Use humor to make your point if you can and make them smile.  It is almost impossible to feel bad about anything when you have a smile on your face. Be careful not to dismiss their feelings. They have a right to their feelings. What you are doing is providing a different perspective.

According to the Mayo Clinic website, “Positive thinking often starts with self-talk.  ” They also believe that there are real health benefits including:
1.   Increased life span
2.   Lower rates of depression
3.   Lower levels of distress
4.   Greater resistance to the common cold
5.   Better psychological and physical well-being
6.   Better coping skills during hardships and times of stress

So join the ranks of medical experts, researchers, psychologists and even sports coaches in promoting a healthy flow of positive self-talk within your child.  It is a conversation you as a parent might want to influence since it carries so much influence with your child.
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Source:Macy Kaiser
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