State-of-the Art Turf at Lambeau Field
A case in point, he noted, is the recommended replacement of the Packers grass field with Cheese-Turf®
The ownership group cited other advantages of the novel playing surface. “It is markedly less expensive to install and maintain than natural grass or other artificial surfaces,” remarked Dr. Gregg Mitchell, Chief Applications Engineer. “The raw cheese input can be sourced from Wisconsin’s robust dairy farming sector. Further, there are many in-state processors with the engineering know-how and production capacity to meet the precise technical specifications and output demands, respectively, for Cheese-Turf,”
Bringing the Packers Family Together
The ambitions of the CURD Project extend beyond infrastructure improvements. The new ownership team expressed its commitment to delivering the game day experience to fans throughout Green Bay who are unable to afford or obtain Packers tickets. “The Brat-Mobile is an experiential breakthrough for all who love the sights, sounds and smells of football,” commented Redenbo. “We modeled it after the successful Bookmobile concept, which as many adults may recall brought the resources of the public library to the neighborhoods of urban areas. Our fleet of Brat-Mobiles will deploy across Green Bay each game day as a means for neighbors to come together to enjoy Packers football and celebrate hometown pride.” While full details are not yet available, a prototype included a 25’ grill area for preparing brats, knockwurst and Italian sausage; a stainless steel vat for deep frying cheese wheels; a 500 gallon Kegerator in the shape of the Lombardi Trophy, and a retractable 30’ projector screen for live ‘brat-casts’
“Not surprisingly, a key issue that surfaced in focus group sessions for the Brat-Mobile was that of adequate restroom facilities,”
Restoring America through Packers Pride
The new ownership group underscored their conviction that professional sports teams also should be a voice for social progress and civility in America. “More than any team in sports, the Green Bay Packers embody the virtues of hard work, pride and integrity. These are qualities that people everywhere can relate to, with the likely exception of our elected representatives to the U.S. Congress,” Redenbo stated. For precisely this reason the group announced intentions to harness the awe-inspiring power of the Packers legendary coach, Vince Lombardi, to motivate Congress into positive public action.
Specific plans include constructing a large multi-media tower directly across the street from the U.S. Capitol building. Combining the Packers team colors and Macintosh® audio and visual capabilities, the “Mac-and-Cheese Tower” will emit a booming recording of the beloved Packers coach most famous side-line utterance, “What the hell is going on out there?!” The 130 decibel recording will be repeated at five-minute intervals each day Congress is in session, augmented by a 75 foot-tall display of Coach Lombardi. “We are convinced that the looming presence of Coach Lombardi will shame Congress into working together for the benefit of all Americans,” noted Manager of Global Media, Alek Redenbo. “Even if they start small by showing up for work more than three months a year, that would be a positive step. Eventually Congress will operate effectively and give Americans reason to watch something other than football on TV.” The ownership team admitted that for the foreseeable future this prospect was about as likely as the Washington Redskins reaching .500 or the Chicago Bears playing in January.
Setting the Offensive Plan in Motion
The new ownership group seeks to implement the CURD Project in time for the 2012/2013 season. “The ball is in the proverbial red zone,” said Redenbo. “Our rigorous due diligence process has concluded that the concept portfolio is sound from a legal, ethical, historical, geological, astrological, metaphysical and even financial perspective.”