Solutions To Having A Work/Life Balance For A Mother

Nov. 17, 2011 - PRLog -- I've been feeling overjoyed! My husband finally got a job out of the house. That means the kids are home with me. I really wanted that. I have two younger kids that need my attention and the best way for me to give it to them is for me to be the one home adoring them. BUT, as I realized the first day my husband was gone, that means I am the one doing everything. Naturally, I am not giving up my job as business coach nor am I going to stop writing and speaking so how to balance it all?

Whether you are going through a new transition like I just jumped into, or whether you are dealing with the normal life this balance it something that has no magical answer. Also to make it tricky what works now won't last. Kids naturally grow into different stages. What was required from me when my older kids where young is different now that they are teens. What is required of me now with my little ones is different than it was the first time.

So how does one at least achieve some sort of balance so they don't feel overwhelmed, depressed, or unmotivated?

I am sure that there are many different answers to this, but I will tell you how I climbed out of my overwhelmed box. At this moment I am currently rocking as a mom and in my business.

First, I took a breath. My husband got his job on a weekend I was out-of-town. I flew in late Sunday because of plane delays (got to bed at 3 AM) and work up early Monday morning to my husband leaving for work. I was expected to figure out my business and tending to the little ones. Overwhelm.

Step 1: Baby stepping to sanity

So I took baby steps. I first attended to the "Must does." I didn't do anything else but the things that absolutely had to be done. I told everyone that requested something that I today was "must dos only." Their requests would go to a list and I would get to it when I had better idea of how I would balance everything, okay, not everything but most things.

It am amazed on how many people struggle with this step of saying, "No" or "I can't get to that right now." When questioned they often feel like they must be there for the other person. It is hard to put themselves first. This is a very important step to take. If taken it is amazing how much our children, spouse, or clients will understand and be willing to take their turn for your attention as long as you do get back in a timely manner.

Step 2: Pay attention to the AHHH's

After putting out the biggest fires, it was time to tune-in to the ahhhh's. Now there is a lot of variety of ahhhh. There is the ahhhh's: how I am going to do this? There is the ahhhh's: how am I going to adjust and what this is going to mean to me? And there is just simply ahhhhh. That Monday the biggest ahhhh I felt was: How was I going to go on the business trips I wanted and needed to go on since now husband couldn't babysit? Despite all the pressure and being exhausted from travel and all the things screaming to pay attention to, I came up with a plan for the trips. I immediately called my sister to see if she was up for watching my darlings. I gave her the dates for the whole next year and WOW did I feel better when she said, "Yes, for now."

After that call I was able to chip away at all the rest of the stuff so much easier. To be truthful the idea of being home all the time with my little darling and staying in the snow without any trip or seeing my friends that I have from all over was just well-depressing. More than depressing. Really really really depressing. Once I knew that I was going to have my outs, I was much happier chasing the kids around the house hearing them squeal in delight.

My second ahhhh was the car pool that I just realized (when the kids called asking where I was at) that I was expected to do. Well car pool is wonderful thing, but when I am hauling babies through the snow and getting in the car when I could be coaching-well the math didn't add up nor did my excitement. I rolled up my work sleeves and looked for a solution. I believe that there is always an answer and this time the answer had to be me not doing the driving. I did come up with an answer. They kids get where they need and I do very little of the driving. Happy times.

As you look at your work and life balance, what is having you go ahhhhh? What is having you feel trapped? Depressed? Not excited? What step can you take to make it better?

Step 3: Identify where is the energy drainers or the anxiety increasers

By week two I had caught up with the travel hanger over and work pile. Now it was time for me to tune in again and identify when I was feeling more agitated and what I could do about it. After two days, I realized I was really happy and hit flow until the older kids came home. I looked at why that was causing stomach problems. It didn't take long to identify the problem. I actually thought that when the older kids got home they would help. I would get a lot of my business work done. Now that is funny! What was I thinking?

Did you know that teenagers are addicted to drama? They want their stories heard, boredom fixed, and their friends, not to help Mom. Okay some of that they are going have to learn how to roll up their sleeves and work anyways. Other part of it Mom is going to have to learn to get her work done before they came home. Here's an easy solution: Hire a babysitter for two hours twice a week while the older ones are at school and work then. That has worked like a charm. There is so much peace of mind in a babysitter. I can actually schedule when my work is going to be done and now all I have to do is honor the schedule. Brilliant. I wish I would have thought that one earlier.

I have to tell you it was hard to admit I needed the babysitter. I actually felt guilty for being away from the kids eight hours a week. Where is my head? I had to talk to myself about how eight hours working strictly on my business is not being a bad mom. Where did I get that idea? I had to do some serious coaching on myself. Hate that. Sometimes I think I should know better and would get it faster since I help so many others with it. But that is not loving and so I accept that I am human and I need help and sometimes I even need to coach myself.

These are all the solutions I have for now. I would love to hear from other mother's out there on what solutions they found in work life balance and what things are they still struggling with.

I have been helping entrepreneurs and business owners grow their business and balance the needs of home for over 18 years. Being a mother of 8, author of 19 books, former radio show host, and an award winning speaker, I can show you that balance and success is not only possible but vital to make more money, have more family time, and achieve more happiness. Discover how to Grow Your Business on Your Own Terms. http://bizonyourterms.com/

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http://bizonyourterms.com I'm a wife, mother of eight, award winning author and professional speaker.