Important Announcement concerning the End of Times Rapture from the Universal Life Church Monastery

So is the Rapture really just around the corner? Could Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson possibly be right? Could they possibly be going away for good? And how will it all happen? A massive escalator to the sky? Now THAT would be awesome!
By: Universal Life Church Monastery
 
May 17, 2011 - PRLog -- For those of you wondering what to do before Saturday, why not borrow massive amounts of money and SPEND it?  Who cares?  It's the Rapture, after all.  

And for those of you enterprising souls who are planning parties for the grand event, we also have a Rapture Last Supper Party menu (http://www.ulc.org/blog/) for you.  As well as the complete guide to the Apocalypse.

Perhaps when you visit us at our blog (http://blog.themonastery.org) you can weigh in on how the world will end.  Here are some options we've thought of:

1. Neighborhood supernova.
2. CERN created black hole.
3. Eruption of the Yellowstone Caldera.
4. Alien invasion.
5. God hits reboot and restores Universe to manufacturer defaults (gravitational/space-time singularity).

And remember, it doesn't hurt to get ordained before the end times happen!  Maybe you can perform last minute weddings for those about to leave us!  Or maybe you just want one of our cool wallet cards to carry around in case an sort of official clergy business comes up!  Why not get a Certificate of Divinity to adorn your wall?  We support your freedom to be spiritual in whatever way makes you happy.  So a heartfelt Happy Rapture from all of us at the Universal Life Church Monastery (http://www.themonastery.org).

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About the Universal Life Church Monastery: The Universal Life Church Monastery strongly believes in the rights of all people from all faiths to practice their religious beliefs, regardless of what those beliefs are, be they Christian, Jew, Gentile, Agnostic, Atheist, Buddhist, Shinto, Pagan, Wiccan, Druid or even Dignity Catholics; so long as they do not infringe upon the rights of others and are within the law of the land and one’s conscience.
End
Source:Universal Life Church Monastery
Email:***@themonastery.org Email Verified
Zip:98122
Tags:The Rapture, End Times, Online Ordination, Become A Minister, Get Ordained
Industry:Spirituality, Lifestyle
Location:Seattle - Washington - United States
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