"Adult Child" Caregivers Must Plan for Needs of Aging Parents

March 30, 2011 - PRLog -- NEWARK – Millions of adult children in America are being forced to assume the role of caregiver for their aging parents – many without the benefit of advance planning that can empower the caregiver, reducing stress, improving decision making and maximizing financial resources.
   “Failure to plan adequately can actually endanger the long-term care of an aging parent,” Nelson Couto, Partner in Couto DeFranco Certified Public Accountants and Financial Planners, told a Newark Regional Business Partnership symposium on The Elder Care Dilemma recently.
   “It is challenging for adult children to take on the role of caregiver and financial overseer for their parent,” Couto said.  “Often, neither child nor elder knows the steps that can save a lot of heartache down the road when proper planning is done ahead of time.”
   As parents age, the child often has difficulty recognizing when the parent needs assistance, knowing what is needed or where to get it.  Couto says an essential first step -- even before the need exists -- is putting in place core documents that give the adult child written authority to act on behalf of the parent.
   These documents include a properly executed, durable power of attorney and health care proxy giving the child the legal permission needed to discuss the parent’s needs and make appropriate decisions with doctors, health care facilities and financial institutions.
   “It is natural for a child to be uneasy when he or she first treads into what has always been a parent’s personal business,” Couto said.  “The first conversation about bank accounts or advanced health care directives such as a decision to refuse resuscitation in a hospital can be daunting.”
   According to Couto, it is important for the child to initiate a series of non-confrontational conversations with an aging parent designed to convey the child’s loving intent to help the parent through the health and financial challenges of aging.
   “I call this the ‘I love you’ talk,” Couto says.  “It is the first step in gaining the parent’s confidence and setting the tone for future discussions that position the child as a caretaker and decision maker for the parent.”   
Sometimes, the child will be called on to make difficult decisions, such as whether a parent should be allowed to continue to drive an automobile.
“This is highly sensitive because, for the first time, the child is stepping across boundaries that have always been in place,” Couto said, “but every decision should be based on the parent’s well-being.”
Couto warns that family members should avoid conflicts with each other when talking to health care providers or financial institutions.
“Even if you have a Power of Attorney or other needed documents in place, your ability to act on behalf of your parent can be jeopardized if a doctor or banker senses conflict among family members,” he explained.  “Too often, those situations end up in court, and the bank or hospital doesn’t want to be part of a court fight among family members.”
   Couto’s bottom line advice:   Plan for the worst.  Hope for the best.
The Newark Regional Business Partnership serves as a business concierge and provides members with value-added connections, information and advocacy that will enhance their opportunities, strengthen the region’s business infrastructure and continue the momentum to revitalize the City of Newark.

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At Couto DeFranco we are dedicated to providing timely, proactive accounting and tax services to all of our clients. In addition to addressing your present needs, we'll help position your financial program to address your future goals. Our planning includes retirement accumulation, and distribution through elder care planning.